Make Him Roar: 10 Things that Turn Men On.

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Some of mens’ deepest needs in their relationships are for approval, respect, to know that they are appreciated and that ultimately, to know they are our superheroes. Read on below to find out what really turns him on.

When a man’s needs are met, they are automatically inspired to try harder, become better partners and aim for higher levels of success, not only within their intimate relationships, but in all other areas of life too.

To understand and achieve this, we must accept that men and women are a little different.

Women can be slightly more emotional and sway more to desire love and affection and although men need these things too, they also place high value on being shown appreciation, being validated and respected. That is when they are at their best.

See alsoMake Me Roar: 10 things that Turn Women On

This is not a list of rules, nor is it to be expected that all men will feel the same way as one another. It is just an outline and guide to understand some of the things that men generally value highly within their relationships.

1. Let him protect you

However strong and independent females are, guys still have the innate desire to want to protect us. Usually the protection comes from the simplest everyday things. Allow them, because we protect them from a lot of things too—just in different ways.

Whether it’s shielding us from the rain with their coats, getting up in the night to investigate strange noises or giving that creepy guy a look that tells them to quit staring, there are countless ways they can make us feel safe. When he is in protection mode, he will feel like a super hero. He is at his most masculine, and endorphins will release to make him feel good. He and he alone wants to feel like he can fully protect—that for a man is extremely potent.

2. Seek adventure with your man

Men want a woman that they can have fun with. They want a buddy as well as a lover. Get involved with the things he enjoys; doing so will help with bonding and bringing you closer together. Take off the heels, play ball, go for a muddy woodland cycle, for dog walks, camp out, swim in a lake—adventure. Men will not care about messy hair and running mascara, as they’ll be too engrossed in the connection that’s happening to focus on anything else.

3. Be his cheerleader

Praise him, have his corner, never criticize him in front of others, compliment, be grateful, believe in him, show him that you are proud of him and stay by his side when the going gets tough. Tell him how important he is to you, how attractive he is and how he makes your world a better place.

4. Give your man space

When men have had a little space, they will bounce back stronger than before. Allow him his freedom and never resent it. Encourage him to submerge himself in his hobbies, sports and friendships. Trust him, let him pursue his passions and allow him to find the things in life that define him, other than your relationship.

5. Have sex — regularly, and with meaning

Men love sex, women love sex. Not all, but for most, the sexual side of a relationship is one of the most important parts for creating intimacy and keeping the relationship healthy and alive. Men need to feel sexy, to know that we are attracted to them physically. However, generally speaking, men don’t just love any sex, for a lot of men, they only find it fully pleasurable when they are in a committed relationship with someone they love.

They don’t want it to be a chore or something they feel is one sided—your pleasure is highly important to him. He wants to know how much you want it too. Be adventurous and explore each other. This is the one side to your partner that no one else has. Find new ways to keep it fresh and exciting: dress up, introduce fun props and find ways to give it an edge to really keep his mind thinking about you all day long.

See also 10 Tips for Men to Cultivate a Better Sex Life. {Adult}

6. Exude confidence and love yourself

Men love confident, happy, independent and secure women. It is not a man’s place to make us happy, it is our own responsibility. A relationship should complement and enhance our lives. When we are at our best, we are also at our most desirable. Love ourselves, appreciate ourselves, adore ourselves and those feelings will be mirrored back 10-fold. One of the greatest aphrodisiacs for a man is to be in the company of a self-assured, sensual woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

Unsplash/Becca Tapert

7. Try to retain the mystery

But not by game playing, as this will only end in the wrong kind of love or for the man to run for the hills. Be mysterious in subtle ways: surprise him occasionally, keep learning, have your own interests, let a guy know that there is a lot more to you than what meets the eye. Don’t give everything all at once. Hold back, slow down and allow your uniqueness to penetrate him subtly and over time. There is no hurry. Don’t rush love, sex or life, give yourself to him but a little at a time. Allow each part of you to absorb into him, then leave him intrigued and desiring more.

See also The Men who Rocked my World in Bed had 3 Things in Common. {Adult}

8. Feed him ah-mazing food and make shared meals a priority

We all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I don’t mean feed him like the dutiful wife, I mean it in a sensual way. Light candles, take time over the preparation, choose delicious ingredients and his favorite drink. Present it well, eat slowly, talk, listen, play gentle music, engage his senses, make sharing food together a bonding experience and then choose a dessert you can tease him with later.

9. Flirt, and show him how he makes you feel

By text, phone calls and when you meet—keep the sexual attraction strong by keeping tensions high with the occasional naughty or suggestive message. Let him know how he makes you feel and what his body does to yours. Flirting is fun. Enjoy how it makes you both feel and say things to make him smile that way he does when certain intentions are going through his mind.

See also I Asked over 1,000 Men & Women about Sex Problems. Here’s what they Said.

10. Make him laugh

Laughing is contagious and not only that, it sends messages to the brain, which then releases endorphins that make us feel amazing. Laughing is good for us physiologically and psychologically. When men are questioned about traits they love in a woman, often this one is near the top of the list: a woman they can laugh with.

Relax around him, joke, play fight, lose your inhibitions, be playful together and as you do, you will be relieving stress and putting your minds and bodies in the right frame for more intimate action. The hormones will release—from the simplest smile to the gentlest laugh, it doesn’t take much for our brains to be convinced we’re in the mood for loving. We can even start by faking a half smile and instantly our brain makes the connection to get things flowing. Try it, it is probably the easiest and most enjoyable way to release pleasure.

To make a man roar and to turn him on doesn’t just mean in a sexual way. It means to fire him up, ignite his spark, fuel his zest for life and make him want and desire your mind, body and soul.

It is about spending quality, not quantity, sensual time together. Connecting, appreciating, exploring, accepting, allowing and most of all enhancing each other’s qualities and unique characteristics.

When all those things are in place, powerful feel good chemicals will release from the brain which help to bond the relationship and the sex—that will come naturally.


Relephant to this:


12 Things Every Guy Should Master to Become a Real Man.

Make Me Roar: 10 things that Turn Women On.


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Author: Alexsandra Myles

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Michael Vaughan/Flickr

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Alex Myles

Alex Myles is a qualified yoga and Tibetan meditation teacher, Reiki Master, spiritual coach and also the author of An Empath, a newly published book that explains various aspects of existing as a highly sensitive person. The book focuses on managing emotions, energy and relationships, particularly the toxic ones that many empaths are drawn into. Her greatest loves are books, poetry, writing and philosophy. She is a curious, inquisitive, deep thinking, intensely feeling, otherworldly intuitive being who lives for signs, synchronicities and serendipities. Inspired and influenced by Carl Jung, Nikola Tesla, Anaïs Nin and Paulo Coelho, she has a deep yearning to discover many of the answers that seem to have been hidden or forgotten in today’s world. Alex’s bestselling book, An Empath, is on sale now for only $1.99! Connect with her on Facebook and join Alex’s Facebook group for empaths and highly sensitive people.


18 Responses to “Make Him Roar: 10 Things that Turn Men On.”

  1. Mike Morrison says:

    brilliant spot on

  2. Ighodalo Vincent says:

    Interesting medium.

  3. I think you got them all. Well done.

  4. Scott says:

    The support and cheerleader aspects are the most for me. When she believes in me, when she supports me, when she is my cheerleader, I feel like I can take on the world. Even when I fail, if I know she still supports me and believes in me, I know that I will get back up and climb higher.

    On the other hand, if she doesn’t support me, if she won’t be my cheerleader, if she obviously doesn’t believe in me, then it is like the world has already ended. If she isn’t going to stand up for me, who will? If she is going to talk about me behind my back to others, then the trust has been broken.

    With her supporting me, even when she doesn’t want to, anything is possible. I will talk over burning shards of glass to provide and protect. Without, then even walking on soft carpet is a challenge.

  5. DDuck says:

    Every single one of those was missing from my recently ended marriage!

  6. Uncle Z says:

    This is so spot on that it's scary. Love it.

  7. Click Baited says:

    If you want to know what turns a man on, ask a man. 1-10 can mostly be summarised by the words "be womanly". Anything that doesn't fit that description can be thrown away (audible modern-feminist gasp).


    1) Only behave like point 1 if you're looking for an over chivalrous sicophant who is compensating for something (yes, you know who you are). But don't be surprised if you also find youself having your bones rattled under some gorilla late on a tipsy saturday night (whilst chivalrous boyfriend thinks you're on a girls night out). Sure you'll feel guilty for a day or two but, "Oh my, it was good to be with a real man and feel like a woman again".

    2) No! That's, what, his, mates, are, for. And if you're wearing mascara on a muddy cycle, or whilst camping… Well, sorry princess, you're not fooling anyone.

    3) He doesn't need a cheerleader. He can stand alone, men are capable of internally generated pride. The need for a cheerleader should actually should be a warning for you. But yes, if you criticise him in public know that it's not sassy, it isn't even 'a turn off'. Men simply don't deal in that type of thing. So it simply makes you irrelevant to him and any other man, and a lot of women too, who witness it. You cease to exist.

    4) This point seems strangly at odds with point number 2… Know that you don't "allow him" time to define himself. You don't "allow him" anything, because he doesn't do anything at your behest. Again, don't set him up as a puppydog and expect him to roar.

    5) Point 5 started well, then this happened: "However, generally speaking, men don’t just love any sex, for a lot of men, they only find it fully pleasurable when they are in a committed relationship with someone they love".
    Confused projection such as this can be avoided by asking an actual man to list what makes him roar. Hint, when it comes to sex, make it hot. Be slutty, lose your inhibitions. Don't get self conscious in the throws of orgasm. Remember the bit about running mascara and messy hair in point number 2? It belongs here in point 5. Wear tiny sexy undergarments he can rip from your body with his teeth (..and high heels aren't just for corporate meetings). Just make it hot… No, don't labour post sex pillow talk, you can be the little spoon as he drifts off to sleep – that's what men want, you're welcome.

    6) Bullsh*t… It's fine to get flustered. We find it endearing and strangely sexy.

    7) No, don't play games. But do know that everything else mentioned in point 7 actually IS playing games – from a man's point of view. He may tire of it, quickly, or see it as a warning of things to come and cut you loose. You're a woman, that is enough of a mystery… You don't need to be calculating – just be.

    8) He will appreciate you making him a meal when he is tired, just as you would. Otherwise cook together, then f*ck on the benchtop whilst the meal is simmering.

    8) Do it again over desert – spill it on yourself so he has to eat it off you.

    9) Blah blah blah. Again, this is projecting what a woman wants. Here's an idea, just walk around the house in your underwear. Include heels for bonus points. Yes it's that simple, ask a man.

    10) See point 6 – flustered is also amusing. Or simply, laugh with him and flow in your vulnerability. This may be difficult if you are always in your head and calculating how much to give of yourself as suggested in point 7…

    11) Don't be crazy – He's not your Dad. So don't take that crazy out on him. If you've found a boy, he might put up with that BS for a while. Heck he'll probably let you tell him what's supposed to turn him on. Those who have nabbed a man need to understand that chances are he's already had a big drink from the well of 'hot looking but kinda crazy' and knows how that script goes. Hence, he will cut his losses real early. A demonstrable absence of crazy, will trump points 1-10 anytime. This final item on our 'girl tells men what can turn them on' list is actually the most important thing, to men.

    (Warning: Post may contain obvious disdain)

    • fruitfly says:

      I think you're over interpreting this article. Certainly as a woman I found no1 definitely to be true. men do want to protect. I find it extremely annoying. I hate it in fact but haven't come across a man yet who isn't like that.
      The rest is pretty spot on. I had a friend who had fallen in love with this girl. Why, I ask him. And he just said: she made me feel good. She made me believe in myself. So that fits in there too. Laughter is obvious, as it's a bonding thing between people, regardless of whether it's friends family or partners. To me it seems spot on. As for the intrigue, I can believe that, because that works both ways. It is human nature to like a little bit of mystery. It's what drives us, but at the same time we cannot know all the answers, that will turn us off. But a little bit of mystery, something that no one knows, but then you let that one person know, he/she will feel very special because then you share a secret. That too is a strong bonding thing.

  8. philipbond says:

    "What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering."

    George Bernard Shaw

  9. Ms Lorian says:

    Re: point 4 Space. If he becomes too submerged in a hobby, then the relationship becomes unbalanced. There’s a fine line between passionate and obsessed. Both people in the relationship need to practice discernment and appropriateness to maintain a good, well-balanced relationship.

  10. kibby says:

    But what if I do every single thing on this list and then some, and he still has no sexual interest in me whatsoever?

    • Kate says:

      Some people are only meant to be friends. I bet you have people in your life, just like I do, that you love and appreciate because they already do many of those things, but you would still never want to pursue sexual intimacy with them. There's always an element of timing and chemistry that's somewhat unexplainable. It makes for great friendships though!

  11. Maree says:

    This is the best article I have read on the subject of male-female relationships in a long time. I can see many of my female friends denying or criticising these truths. However, these are the same women who say they just can't find or keep the right man. They are not thinking at all about being the "right" woman. I KNOW these aspect are incredibly sexy to a man but sexiness cannot be forced or feigned. It must be real. And for those occasions when you think, "Oh WTF?" about something he has done, keep it to yourself. He is human, just like you, and humanity is sexy, too.
    I also love the author's style of wriitng: articulate and succinct. Thank you
    In response to "Click Baited", above: It is obvious that he has had his fair share of negative relationships which has made him so cynical. However, I totally agree with his point 11. Part of the reasons many of my friends act so crazy in relationships is because they play out horrible, inaccurate scenarios in their heads so often that they eventually believe them. Craziness, being with someone who cannot be reasonable, is not a trait appreciated in any relationship. Nevertheless, men do often play their part in making this worse. I have a tendency to be quite unreasonable once a month. In past relationships I have been called crazy. In my current relationship, I have felt loved. I am now with someone who doesn't take it personal if I snap at him the day before my period is due. Most times he will give me a look, the look, and then a hug. I believe it is because of this support, knowing that I am loved even in my crazy moments, that my craziness of PMT (PMS) is now negligible, if at all.

  12. Flor-de-Lotus says:

    Great piece, Alex! 🙂 Nice reading, made me smile! Oh, and a little editing help here, if you don't mind me. It should be "everyday things" (not every day) on #1. And "complement and enhance our lives" (instead of 'compliment'), on # 6.

    I do enjoy reading your articles. 🙂

  13. Annon says:

    This is an extremely sexist and backwards article unfortunately. It is not the woman's job to validate a man's masculinity.

  14. Alexa – you are 100% correct. I’m a men’s coach, international matchmaker, and author on multi-national marriage. The audience of men I speak to each week hunger for more and more on the topic of masculinity and understanding the relationships between men and women – because our culture in the West has deteriorated into a battle of the sexes where couples don’t support each other or try to understand the needs of their partner.

    Neither men or women are an island. We need each other to uniquely fit into our lives to empower us to find our highest potential. Woman can uniquely motivate their men to want to charge the hill and save the day for them. Men can make a woman feel captivating and deeply valued when he pursues her heart with every fiber of his romantic being.

    I often find that. Young people resist these models of interdependence, preferring the “I don’t need a man” and “I don’t need a woman” mantras that lead to loneliness in their 30’s.

    What you outlined is a wonderful blueprint for women to create loyalty and love in her man. For a woman who will do these things for her man – he will never leave her.

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