Bored? Lonely? Don’t seek distraction. Melt.

My top 10 list for a Lonely Friday Night.

It’s been months since I’ve fallen in love. Months. Maybe a year? That’s 12 months. That’s about right. The only girl I love is a dog, and he’s a boy, and it’s not like that. We’re just friends.

So: my busy agenda for a rockin’ Friday Night! Yeehaha!

1. walking my dog beneath the snow-white mountains as they turn cool blue, then dark blue, beneath the brightening moon…
2. back home: heirloom popcorn, Dead Sea-destroying sea salt and olive or coconut oil in a too-huge bowl, mmmm…
3. dog cuddling while…
4. working on my laptop all night…
5. and trying and failing (because I’m working all night) to get through a movie on Netflix…
5. as if my night couldn’t get crazier, take a break from all that fun to read that amazing new article in The New Yorker in an epsom salt bath so hot my chest hair curls…
6. re-reading Tintin in bed…
7. crying into my pillow…

…what am I missing? Well, three things in that list, for sure:

1. a dinner at Upstairs at the Kitchen with a woman who’s beautiful in and out,
2. a cozy drink at Bitter Bar afterward,
3. an hour or three of sweat and love in and around my bed.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it! Life isn’t all a box of chocolate. Sometimes you got nothing but nothing.

Nothing isn’t nothing, however. Nothing is boredom, and boredom is not a wall—it’s a gateway into a world of relaxation and appreciation. We Americans, we modern folks wherever we are—are really good at avoiding boredom (see the Louis CK, below). Because what’s beyond that wall of boredom? Loneliness. Our sweet, scared, vulnerable, red raw hearts.

But here’s the thing: I’m not lonely, got no problem with lonely! I’m just bored to death with not being in love. But I’m cool with boredom! In Buddhism, they talk about hot boredom (uncomfortable, stay with it, relax) and cool boredom (the feeling we have when we relax into hot boredom, when we’re free of the need to entertain ourselves).

I’m just bored to death with searching through Netflix for something to watch. When’s the new season of House of Cards back, again?

 

~

 

For more:

“Why Louis CK doesn’t buy phones for his Children.”{Video}

The Buddhist View of Loneliness as a Good Thing.

Hot Drama: Passion, Aggression, Ignorance, Speed. How to Cool it. {Video of Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche}