We all have it, but only some of us use it.
In a previous relationship, I used to get upset about the appropriateness of a certain platonic relationship my partner had. She was faithful, yet there was still something that made me uncomfortable. We used to fight about it and I ended up believing that I was a paranoid weirdo who created problems out of nothing.
In doing so I forced my intuition in to a tiny little box and put it in a dark corner at the back of my heart.
It wasn’t to be trusted.
This lead to less conflict. Because when I felt the untrusting, suspicious feelings lurking up or interpreted a behaviour in a certain way, I simply put it down to my maligned “intuition” that wasn’t accurate and that the feelings I was feeling were probably down to me being “broken.”
For me, this was a surefire way to become numb to life and a pathetic wisp of a man with no real integrity at all.
When we separated, it was a matter of weeks before it was public knowledge that my ex and this other person were now lovers.
This rattled me.
Not because I was jealous or missed her, but because that thing I had stuffed in to a box and forgotten about had been based on truth all along.
So I dug it out from under the dusty sheets of dreams and memories and began listening to it again.
And it scared the crap out of me.
Because it was like I could see another world. There was the one we all mutually existed in which was easy to interpret as long as I went along with it because no one questioned anything at all. And then there was this other one.
A world where silence was a million colours and a single sentence was an essay. Where a lie wasn’t just a lie, but rather a whole series of obvious events that led to that lie. Where I “just knew things.”
It’s magic. Perhaps the real magic is finding the ability to feel again.
I want to be true to my intuition. Ideally I want to live entirely by it. But it’s incredibly hard to do. Because we all avoid and lie and run and hide. And even though the intuitive person will see all of this and perhaps call it out, it takes a huge amount of brave honesty and self awareness from the other to not deny their words until they are blue in the face.
They too need to be in tune with their intuition and recognise the intuition in us.
And then the universe has a little giggle. Because the intuitive ones are the ones who were given soft hearts and empathetic minds. And this means that when another outright denies their intuition, they will question it to the point of the possibility of denial themselves.
But live by it we must. Because imagine what our relationships would be like if we did? There would be no bullsh*t. And if there was, there would be no argument about it because the others intuition and insight in to the situation would be acknowledged and honoured. So a simple look, and then a laugh would evaporate most arguments in to a loving and understanding cuddle.
Most of the time, we all know what’s going on—we just avoid some of the stuff that is scary and hard work.
But perhaps when we can learn to interact with not only our own intuition, but other people’s too, we can find true liberation and happiness.
A world where there is no bullsh*t anymore?
Author: Andy Charrrington
Editor: Renée Picard
Image: purplejavatroll at Flickr