You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior.


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guy on his back


Warning: naughty language ahead!

To my sweet wild woman, I know why it hasn’t worked out with anyone else—you don’t need a man, but a goddamn warrior.

You are the strength of Turkish coffee at sunrise darlin’ and don’t try to pretend that you’re not.

You are one of the wild ones, and no matter how you tried to hide that fact, you can’t be anything other than what you are—and that’s okay. You are just as you are supposed to be, magnificently wild in all of your chaotic beauty.

I know you’ve had your heart broken and I know that you don’t understand why it always seems to never work out, but I’ve finally figured it out:

You don’t need a man, you need a goddamn warrior.

It doesn’t matter if this warrior drives a Jeep or a shiny sports car, and it won’t matter if he wears silk or cotton—it will not even matter if he works in a high-rise, or on the night shift.

What is going to matter is that when it comes to taking bets on your heart, he is going to be high stakes—all the way.

This warrior of yours will crave your strength, and your intensity. He’s going to look at you and not see something to tame, but something to just fuckin’ admire. This warrior of yours won’t be someone that you can manipulate or play with as you have in the past, so honey, don’t even try—and trust me, you’re going to love him even more because of it.

Because you aren’t just a woman, you’re a goddamn goddess.

Your fierceness is going to bring him to his knees every single time he looks into your gorgeous eyes, but the difference is, unlike the others, he isn’t going to be scared off. No, this time, you will have finally met your match—because a simple man for you just won’t do.

You need someone to match the fire in your eyes with his own. Not only that, my little wild thing, but this warrior of yours is going to want to encourage the flames instead of trying to douse them with his own insecurities.

Because for you, a warrior is the only man who will ever live in the wild with you.

He may not have to slay any dragons to earn your love, but he would still walk through fire if it meant seeing that amazing smile that you hold in reserve for only him.

This is the thing, free spirit, this warrior you seek….he’s seeking you too.

For he’s had failed relationships that have left him wondering if maybe he was meant to be alone for the rest of his journey—and you’re going to change all of that for him. You both have been travelling along on your separate journeys and have been doing an okay job at it, but that about to change too.

Because baby, when you and this warrior of yours meet and collide—it’s going to be a love set on fire.

Don’t try to run this time—I know your heart has been broken before, and that you’re not used to things working out, but this time it’s different. Give yourself time to see that.

This warrior of yours needs to see that it’s possible for someone to see all of his wild, and still be there when he craves his freedom and ventures off into this world for a bit. You won’t always need to follow him, just as he won’t always follow you. Let yourself stay wild, even when all you want to do is curl up in that spot along his side and forget the rest of the world exists.

Let yourself still wander naked under the full moon, and drink moonshine with the stars. Let yourself feel the pull of the wind on your heart, and the sun toward a new journey. Because this warrior is going to love you because of your wild—and he’ll want you to keep it.

You’ll be in this together now, this amazing, crazy, chaotic, wonderfully heartbreaking life—because it takes a warrior to love a goddess. And it takes a goddess to show a warrior what real love is.

So pack up your insecurities and your ideas about picket fences, because that was never you anyway. You were born knowing that you were destined for more, and now is the time for you to see what all those dreams look like.

There is no stopping a love like this, so promise me you’ll hold out just a little bit longer.

Have a little bit of hope, and always give love just one more try, because I promise you my sweet wild woman—the love that you seek is seeking you as well.




The Important Connection Between Diet & Mental Health.

Bonus! Don’t settle for just any kind of love: 


Mindful Offering:  TREE NECKLACE

Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Mr. Seb/Flickr


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Kate Rose

Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair, swaying her hips to the music of life and smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold. Follow her on TwitterFacebook or Instagram, and find more of her words on her website


92 Responses to “You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior.”

  1. Ioana says:

    I will print this article and keep it near me forever. I needed this. Thank you.

    P.S: This is the first comment on Elephant Journal until now.

  2. Melina says:

    <3 Beautiful.

  3. Kelly Danhinten says:

    it makes me cry literally!! thanks for sharing 🙂 you made my day

  4. Yes, yes, yes. And I will not settle for less.

  5. Sara says:

    I found my warrior…..finally. And it's all of this and more. It's breathtaking.

  6. Toni says:

    Thank you for this.

  7. The Truth says:

    The Elephant is truly a new age Cosmopolitan.

    Mills and Boon + spirituality…


  8. Katherine says:

    Hello! Thank you! Because of this, I had hope! This gives me hope that one day I will be loved. That one day, my warrior will come 🙂 Thank you so much!

  9. Eish says:

    'My little wild thing' … this is exactly the problem. Even the strong women don't realise when they are diminishing themselves. You call a child 'my little terror, my little ragamuffin' not a grown woman that you respect and admire. A wild thing. There's nothing little or diminutive about a woman with fire.

  10. THIS THIS THIS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. I’m a dude and I adore this article. I resonate with it so so so so much. Bless you Kate for writing it. The energy jumps of the page. Sending you and all the sacred women looking for their spirit warrior a HUGE love filled hug. Peace

  11. THIS THIS THIS YEEEEEEEEEEES. Kate bless you for writing this. I resonate with it so so so much. It's so refreshing to see a sacred women acknowledge that there are warriors out there. I consider myself of of them. The women you describe in this…. THAT is who I am open to meeting. BIG warrior hug to you and all the sacred women out there. Peace

  12. Karen W says:

    Thank you, my dearest Kate Rose! This was exactly what I needed to hear this week… It was absolutely perfect!

  13. Catherine says:

    I FUCKING love this!!!! <3

  14. Sarah Alexandra says:

    I loved reading this! Because I do believe it, wholeheartedly, but I needed this reminder. Thank you with all my heart.

  15. Wrensong says:

    Love this Kate thank you! I am all about embracing my inner Aphrodite and want to embrace a man’s Adonis!

  16. Sven says:

    So glad I found you El

  17. storyofabutterfly says:

    Thank you! 🙂

  18. The Collective Om says:

    Your words tear at every heart string. Thank you!

  19. justin says:

    so the woman gets to live in the heavens, be immortal and have unlimited celestial powers, while the man is someone who marches for months, often starving and freezing, to go die in a muddy ditch in a foreign land, alone, bleeding out from a spear wound to the stomach.

    sounds like a fair, equal footing to start a relationship on

  20. Calvin says:

    Meh, sounds like she wants to be fought over by, lol, alpha males. The world is pretty ruff & tumble, peace still not universally accepted, I avoid those enclaves.

  21. Anthea Van den Bergh says:

    This was the most gorgeous reminder to me that even though I may crave to share my love with someone (sometimes to an unbearable extent), I must never ever ever settle for any man less than my goddam warrior. Bless you for this post, Kate! Bless you.

  22. Patricia Veresh says:

    Utterly perfectly worded. Thank you for being wild and for staying that way. There has been a voice in the pit of my stomach screaming, now I know what that voice has been saying.

  23. Tamara says:

    My goodness! It’s so perfect! Makes me cry with emotion! Thank you for this beautiful text!

  24. Shira says:

    Thank you so much Kate… I love you for writing these articles. It's just what some of us need.

  25. Michelle says:

    The universe knows – I needed this!! Thank you!!

  26. em jay says:

    This is just wonderful! I want to read things by you everyday! Your writing is inspiring. Thank you for reminding us who we are, what we deserve and what we can offer!

  27. Klr says:

    It is funny how the universe brings you a message you need to hear at the right moment. Thank you for the reminder about the value we each bring and until someone is fierce enough to handle my fire I’ll continue in this journey solo. I never want to be the person someone settles for but instead the choice they make. Thank you for the words of inspiration!

  28. Audrey says:

    I had actually reached this conclusion this morning, while walking along the beach! You have managed to put it into such beautiful words… my heart was beating fast during the whole read!
    Thank you so much <3

  29. Sam says:

    Fantasy driven nonsense. As if women didn’t have unrealistic expectations to begin with. :eye roll:

  30. Alma says:

    This is a beautiful piece. Thank you. I married a warrior, just as you described him here. We were blessed with a decade together, even if three and a half of those years were spent with him bedridden by three strokes. His first death anniversary was on Aug. 13—and your words have given me such great comfort at a time when picking up the pieces of a life that will never be the same again has proven to be a challenge because I am so shaken and unsure of what strength my husband saw in me.

    Thank you for reminding me of my husband’s own sentiments, which he’d shared with me every day, but which were drowned out by my grieving. This is a precious, precious gift.

  31. IAmLordofWar says:

    Thank you, for validating and eloquently voicing all the reasons why I love her.

  32. Gwynethrose says:

    I had my warrior….my wonderful British husband…he died five years ago…now I am meant to be alone.

  33. Labby says:

    Thank you so much. I truly needed this at this moment. I was about to try to settle for less and I knew better. I asked for a sign to help me on my direction regarding love and I came upon this article. Thank you much! I am truly grateful and yes, I too will be printing this out as well.

  34. Praxedis says:

    Nice and idealistic and all, but what happens when the mundane reality of daily existence sets in? What then? Going into the bathroom after your warrior has just dropped a nasty deuce or when you and your warrior have little mini warriors… Nice try though.

  35. Bert says:

    I LOVE how this resonates with women here and seems liberating because I do some of this stuff myself (don’t try to water down flames, etc) although that particular word “warrior” is no friend of mine- not just the ones who make that their profession. Those types of men who I have to apologize for every day, while women look past me. Perhaps I’m a warrior of good or whatever but even that reminds me of “onward Christian soldiers..” That’s too gross to me, so what am I missing? :/

  36. sanaemoriarty says:

    Such beautiful true words. Thank you xx

  37. Jordan says:

    Warriors asses the chaos around them and subjects it to his will – making it his own. Wild women who want warriors, prepare to be tamed.

  38. Dawn says:

    I hope this is a joke. Terrible. Nothing in here is discussing equality, humbleness, the capability to make the decision to love and the commitment to the relationship. I am no goddess. I dont need to be. As an imperfect human being and a woman, I am ENOUGH. Any man who choices to be, can develop the capability to Be ENOUGH as well.

    Let me add that article is disgusting in its tone of voice.. sure its not condescending in the direct fashion of the 50's or even the current 'good ol boy network' that saturates upper management – yet its placating and oozing another form of sexism catering to my sex as the superior . Gag me. I dont want to be a mans superior(well maybe his boss in an career environment) I want an equal, no catering to my princess-hood or my 'lost lil girl' or any other bs. needed. Simply Be. Its enough.

  39. Pessimistic Mouse says:

    Wouldn’t this be considered…unrealistic standards for a man? If we have to be warriors, you have to not be fat. Sounds fair and equal to me.

  40. edhare says:

    I can say, those warriors are in our world. They are real men and they can stand with the wild, loving it. They know that the values in her emotions add to the single-minded purpose he sometimes holds and he will stand by his own beliefs of truth, and right and wrong.

    Yes, these are real men, and as real men, they will sometimes fall, sometimes fail, sometimes fail to see and sometimes let you down, but when they do, they will own their own limits as powerfully as they own their own power. They will pick themselves up, make amends as best they can and move on with their lives.

    And you have crossed his path before in your life, maybe without even knowing. He is the one that did not flinch when you acted weird. He is the one that you saw do the right thing, even when it didn't seem on the surface to be in his personal best interest. He is the one that somehow saw when someone needed his help and he just showed up, not to count what favor was now owed him, but just because it is his nature to help.

  41. Mike says:

    Adam Goldberg is the ‘goddamn warrior’?

  42. William says:

    This reads like an excerpt from a new age Harlequin Romance paperback. I’ve experienced the “World of the Warrior” during my years as an Army Ranger. What kind of “warrior” is the author alluding to? Probably an urban “bad boy” who plays a musical instrument, writes poetry, sports a ridiculous hipster beard with sidewalls hair style, plays ultimate frisbee and has a good job who will support her and children than a man who comes home at the end of a long moonless night from the back of beyond with dried human blood and brains splattered on his battle uniform. This article should have been submitted to the Onion as new age satire.

  43. Aude says:

    I have been re-reading this article many times. It is beautifully written and concerns men as much as women. I have found my warrior. Thanks for this beautiful piece of work

  44. Lucy says:

    I love this article! I've re-read it several times. It truly reflects how I feel and what I want from my warrior. I will hold out a lil longer. 🙂

  45. Padme A'Tea (Lyn Gilbert) says:

    Dear Heart: I read this with tears running down my face because I am finally letting my strength emerge…keeping myself open and strong to receive…

    All Love,

    Padme A’Tea

  46. Cherylanne says:

    Love this! I totally relate, it sounds as if it speaks of my personality. So i have always been told. My mom always said it take a special man for me. Now i understand what she has been saying.

  47. Julie says:

    Effing beautiful. Left me with a tear in my eye and an "oh yes….hell yes".

  48. MissP says:

    Amazing! thanks! great article! Finnally how i feel put into words!

  49. rnchgrl says:

    Oh My God, YES!!! Thank you for this! The Celtic goddess in me is singing with this post validating me. I have learned many times that reducing myself to be less for a man, just doesn’t work! You rock!

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