If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself the way that I see you, so you’d realize how truly beautiful you are.
She never saw her true potential for she hid it with her doubts.
She masked her beauty with her insecurities. Her fears and failures became her closest friends blocking her from what she could and should be if she could only see her true self.
She forgot her name. She lost the power to see her own reflection. She saw her face through the judgement of others. She gave them the power to paint her expression, replacing her capacity to love with a fear of being loved. These judgments masked her soul. She measured her worth by their words. Their rejection became her rejection and dismissal of herself.
She wore these words like an ill-fitting coat which she pulled so tightly around her it became her chrysalis in which she hid from the world. A world which she silenced herself from choosing to be lost, lonely and forgotten.
She became the shadow girl lost in the darkness she allowed to manifest within. This was her world. A world without colour, touch and sound. Devoid of senses and senseless.
I tried to talk to her so many times. Yet she could not hear me. She chose not to hear me.
She lost her worth through her fear of being noticed. She refused to believe that she could mean more to the world than she dared to acknowledge replacing her dreams with “it’s too late,” “I’m too old” and “it’s never going to happen.” She labelled herself as nothing and expected no one to believe she was worth anything else.
She became so cocooned in her own sadness that she started to fade away. She became so small that we are almost lost her from this world. Until in the fleeting moment before she disappeared completely she saw me and looked into my eyes. I spoke to her and for a moment she listened and felt her heart beat through my own.
And so I told her:
Just allow me to give you this gift for one moment to see yourself through myself. See your beauty through my eyes, your potential through my perspective and your worth and capacity to be loved through my love to you.
I know your dreams through my dreams. I dreamt them with you.
I know your hopes through my hopes through the prayers and wishes we both whispered as children.
Let your smile be my smile when you’ve lost it to remind you of the beauty and laughter that exists within if you allow yourself to hear it.
When you no longer remember your dreams let me carry them for you and reflect them through my own. Let this remind you of the true hope and potential that exists within if you stop for a moment to feel it.
I wear your love as my love. I will give it back to you when you cannot love yourself. When you may have forgotten how loved and deserving of love you truly are.
Let me give this gift to you. From myself to yourself.
And to all my world sisters who may have forgotten how truly beautiful they are.
Author: Rebecca Hannah
Apprentice Editor: Karolina Krawczyk-Sharma / Editor: Catherine Monkman
Image: Helga Weber/ Flickr