I know that your eyes are filled with the watery beauty of other people’s love and that your heart has taken on an empty thud that echoes for longer than even your mind wanders. But I have something to tell you…
One day, someone will love you just as you are on that day. Perhaps you’ll change a little before then—start on some of those nagging habits you’re trying to pick up or drop—but you’ll still be you. And one day, someone will want every wonderful corner of you.
It is not your responsibility to strive to be someone who can be loved. You already are.
The magic that makes the love you yearn for is the absolute perfection of your uniqueness.
I know you still torment yourself with regretful thoughts of “if only I could change”—but darling, you are a fool. For the moment you begin to change your unchangeable heart, and its steadfast compass, is the moment you know (and you do know, don’t you?) that the hope you had placed within the eyes and fingers of your lover was more about yourself and less about love.
Of course you wanted it to work—anyone who comes out of a relationship not wishing it had worked was never really in it at all.
But it wasn’t you.
Sure, you’re nuts. I know. You have a complicated heart. But have you ever looked inside a flower? Have you seen the complexity that makes up that beauty? Or a forest with its random trunks and patterns of leaves? Or a cloud, ever changing? Or the stars?
Beauty comes not from being simple.
The trick here, really, is to be brave. To trust that you are enough. Of course you could work out a little more and drink a little less. You could read more books and lie under stars more often—but none of that is “you.” You are the sea bed underneath the tides of habituation, procrastination, optimism and discovery.
More than anything, I want you to know this: That you—just as you are—are quite simply, perfectly beautiful.
That you are not loved yet is because a wave breaks at just the right moment and not a minute sooner. And yet, it was caressed by the moon many miles before it broke. You are still a wave even if you are yet to crest. You are being loved by the sky and then sent on your way to travel—to build, to see and to learn—before one day, unknowingly and quite actually out of the blue, you’ll find yourself beginning to tumble. This is all part of that final thunder on to the shore.
Be more still than you’ve been. You’ve got nothing to do, other than being you.
Author: Andy Charrington
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Photo: Flickr/Rachel Sapp