The few first times I had sex, it was disappointing.
I thought it would be a dreamy tranquil state, like the creamy vanilla cloud of a milkshake I would want to float in forever. But after a while I grew bored and impatient. Why wouldn’t he come? Why wasn’t I enjoying this?
I felt discomfort and irritation.
Most of the time, I climaxed through clitoral stimulation during foreplay, and when we continued I felt like I was about to pee, or I had the annoying sensation of being tickled for too long.
I only came close to finding that dreamy place when I masturbated, but because I needed security and control, I couldn’t let go with a partner.
While we were having coffee the other day, a friend told me about OM Meditation.
OM meditation (orgasmic meditation), is a type of clitoral stimulation whereby women let go and completely relinquish themselves to orgasm—that place I so enjoyed but could not succumb to during intercourse. This pleasurable sensation is not intended to be a full-on sensory climax, only sustained for a few brief moments. It is an enduring sensual experience during which awareness is heightened, and it is later possible to recall what we visualized, what we smelled and each detail of the moment we found that place.
At first, I thought my friend was talking about a massage with a “happy ending.” When I asked him more about it, he explained that it was not sexual and not intended to be sexual. It was about a woman learning how to completely surrender—to let go and enjoy herself.
Still unconvinced, and wondering if this was his way of making a pass at me, I went home and did some research.
And sure enough, what my friend described was accurate. OM meditation is a real practice; there are courses you can take to learn more about it, and you can train to be an OM practitioner through One Taste.
As I explored their website and spoke to a representative, I learned that what I had been experiencing, that inability to fully release during intercourse, was a product of my personality type. Now that I understood this, I could explore ways to let go with a partner.
I learned that this orgasm cannot be achieved through masturbation. When a woman stimulates herself, she is aware of what she is doing and her brain is still in the thinking phase. Just like we cannot startle ourself, we cannot fully surrender into orgasm by achieving it alone.
OM Meditation is about learning to fully embrace the act of receiving. In order to achieve this, I would need to let go of my need to control.
OM Meditation is therapeutic, because it helps us, as women, overcome the issues we try to overthink, by bringing us closer to parts of our inner being we do not typically explore when our brain is highly analytical.
To practice, a woman undresses from the waist down, and her partner gently folds over her, first touching her thighs and then slowly stroking his or her way to the clitoris. The technique is specific, intended to awaken and arouse. It is a journey, one stroke at a time, to bring the woman closer to herself.
It is not sexual; it’s about self-discovery.
With the sexual nature taken away, a woman doesn’t have to worry about pleasing her partner, wonder whether she is performing well enough or concern herself with being a conduit for her partner’s climax.
Instead, she accepts and allows her body to succumb to this complete release.
May it be of benefit!
Author: Jane Cowles
Editor: Toby Israel
Image: Adrianna Calvo/Pexels