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March 10, 2016

To My Soul Sister: I Miss You.

woman

“Love wins. Love always wins.” ~ Mitch Albom

Whoever said that soulmates can only be found in romance is wrong.

Soulmates can be found in friendships too.

It’s too bad that I never had the chance to tell you that you’re my soul sister and perhaps this is why I’m writing you today. I’m reaching out to you to ascertain the importance of sisterhood and their presence in each other other’s lives.

A soul sister is a woman who becomes part of your life, your moments—a part of you. Men might even feel threatened by her presence because they know they can never take her place in your heart.

You laugh with your soul sister, and you cry with her.

You pour all your agonies onto her being as she pours hers onto yours.

Perhaps I’m reaching out to the world as much as I’m reaching out to you. I’m eager to share what I know about the beauty of having a soul sister, as well as the misery of losing one.

I’m eager to tell the world how unfortunate it is to need someone yet not find them there. Perchance it is my subliminal message to the entire world to live the moment and appreciate the people in it because we never know when they’ll be gone.

Time is magical. It’s fascinating how it removes bit by bit the traces of hate then leaves you with nothing but reminiscing and missing. It is one’s absolute absence that makes you in need of his presence.

If you ask me what went wrong between us, I’d chuckle. If I want, I can bring back the past and recall how we might have hurt each other. I’d give you a thousand reasons why I held grudges against you and why we’re where we are today.

I’m most certain you’d shower me with reasons that led us to this vicious ocean of anger, blaming, and selfishness.

It’s funny that we’ve lost each other at the place where we were supposed to find ourselves. And so we did. I found myself as you have found yourself but sadly, I’ve lost you and you’ve lost me.

Perhaps you were driven by foolishness and I was driven by my ego. But does it really matter anymore what drove who and who was driven by what?

Have you ever heard of the verse, “What I feared has come upon me”? (Job 3:25). I utterly believe that my fear of losing you eventually led me to lose you.

Before losing you, I didn’t know how to be alone or how to love myself.

I was quite attached to your presence in my life, to the irreplaceable friendship that we had. I expected us to travel and do the same old sh*t that we did together for a long time.

But maybe I have expected more than you could offer.

In a way I’m thankful I lost you, because it was only then did I learn to face my fear of aloneness. Only then did I experience self-love and self-worth and maybe, just maybe, if you were a little less selfish and I was a little more independent we wouldn’t have grown apart.

Although I’m no longer expecting anything from you, I do miss you.

I miss talking with you about everything with no limits or boundaries. I miss trashing ex- boyfriends and laugh at our stupidity.

Although I hated sleeping next to you, I do miss it. I miss you taking all over the bed leaving me few inches to sleep on.

I miss drawing with you and reading with you.

I miss laughing and crying with you. And mostly, I miss going crazy with you.

Going crazy with you might be the thing that I miss the most—never before have I met someone who could understand my insanity and was willing to live it with me as you would. No man and no perfect lover can replace what two soul sisters shared together.

These days, I barely share anything with anyone. My days are filled with silence and loneliness like never before.

But is there anything that we can do, really? Perhaps you’re still as you were and I still sit with a wounded ego.

Perhaps those barriers we put up yesterday are still standing today.

Nevertheless, I don’t regret this sisterhood.

I believe that we were together in the most important stage of our lives. Through our friendship, you met the man of your dreams and I discovered my life purpose.

Thanks to each other, we went through intense and enlightening transformation

Perhaps, this is what soul sisters are here for. They meet to highlight the flaws in each other.

Luckily, some stay the best of friends and sadly, some grow apart. But the only thing that matters now is that we wouldn’t be who we are today if it weren’t for each other.

It breaks my heart to pieces that we share the same dreams and purposes but won’t be experiencing them together in the future. I’m sure the end result will be the same—and who knows, maybe we talk about it in 30 years when we’re old and full of life in the same old pub where we decided to go on our first journey together.

Until then, remember me in every flight you take, and I’ll remember you at every journey I make.

~

 

 

Author: Elyane Youssef

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Jesse Uli/Unsplash

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