May 26, 2016

It’s Exhausting Being a Badass Warrior Princess.

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We’ve all read those “be a badass warrior princess” articles. How could you not!? They are everywhere!

They tell us to just be ourselves. To go out into this big bad world and leave our marks, quietly. If mainstream media has taught us anything, warriors are anything but quiet, though. I mean seriously, have you seen any superhero quietly walk up to the bad guy and have a rational logical conversation with him?

I read these articles and I get pumped up! Hell yeah! I can be a badass warrior princess! It goes great for a couple days. I have this kick ass attitude thinking I can change my world by just being me. Then I struggle to get out of bed and get dressed. I look at the amount of work on my desk and sigh deeply. I ask myself what the hell I am doing with my life.

And the badass warrior princess slips out the side door leaving me with what I started with…myself.

The problem is that after reading these articles as I sit in the same sweat pants eating a tub of chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce poured on top, I wonder where I am going wrong. I mean, how can all these other women be these strong successful individuals and I am here wondering where it all went wrong in my life? How many times have we heard or read a motivational piece, felt like we could take on the evil villain ourselves only to be left feeling shortly afterwards more dejected and unsure of ourselves than before reading that article?

Where is the happy medium and how do we get to the point that we too feel like we belong in that world of warrior instead of a worrier?

It comes from within. Nothing outside of ourselves is going to make us strong and ready to do battle if the inside is cowering. We have to get to a place where wearing the same sweat pants and consuming wine is good enough.

We have to forgive ourselves for what we view as our less than perfect days. The key point being what we see. Not others. How many times have you run to the grocery store with your hair in a messy bun, wearing your less than flattering yoga pants and baggy shirt only to run into everyone you could possibly know and they tell you that you look amazing?

Maybe they see something in us that we overlooked. It obviously has nothing to do with what we are wearing or how we did our hair. It has nothing to do with the piles of laundry weighing us down or that stack of bills sitting on our counter. It has nothing to do with the outside forces begging for our attention. They don’t see all that. They just see us.

Some of us struggle to make it to the end of the month and still have a few bucks in our pockets. Some of us have days where we are sure our kids are trying to drive us to the madhouse in a limo. We all have days where we look in the mirror and see the big glowing zit that appeared overnight magically. We all have days where getting out of bed is a momentous task.

Some days the badass warrior princess is less about conquering our inner demons and just accepting them. It is about sitting on your couch with tears in your eyes wondering how you’re going to make it all come together. It is about leaning into that discomfort and letting it wash over us. It is about just making it through another day some days.

We can’t walk around every day—all day—high on life. It doesn’t work that way. Dark clouds will eventually move into our world. If they didn’t, nothing would grow! If we didn’t have a little rain on our parade, we would eventually shrivel up like a flower starving for water. The trick is learning to accept the storms. Maybe even embrace them a little. No one can be happy all the time. No one.

But we can accept life for what it is. A struggle. Some days good. Some days bad. We have to learn to stop beating ourselves up on those bad days. We have to learn to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop on the good days. We have to stop waiting for life to turn out the way we want it too and just start living it.

So no need to be a badass warrior princess. Just show up to what the universe has unfolding for you. That is the brave part. That is the quiet confidence part.

No superhero costume needed. Those sweat pants you’ve been wearing for the past couple of days will do just fine.





Author: Debbi Serafinchon

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Flickr/Fabien G.

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