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August 26, 2016

Thank You to the Men who Didn’t Know what they had—When they had Me.

Flickr/ROBERT HUFFSTUTTER

“You’re the type of woman a man should never let go of. You’re the type of woman that men regret losing. Nothing about you is ordinary. Choose someone who knows this…never settle for less than you are.” ~ r.h.sin

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This is for the men who didn’t know what they had when they had it.

Those who thought that I could be so carelessly tossed aside and replaced with another body, someone who could so easily fill the shoes that I had left behind.

Thank you to the men who woke up next to me each morning, taking me for granted and never truly appreciating me for the woman I am.

The men who never really saw me for more than they wanted me to be, and who refused to let me shine my brightest, because they were afraid of the intensity that I would bring to their hearts.

Thank you to every single man who looked past me, instead of at me—those who were so enmeshed in their own self-limiting dramas that they never were able to appreciate me for who I am.

The thing is that I tried to prove my worth to you.

I attempted to catch your eyes long enough to let you know that while I am far from perfect, I am totally unique, and that the only guarantee—good or bad—is that you’ll never meet another woman like me. But no matter how I tried or how glamorous I tried to be, you never were really able to actually appreciate me while I was trying to get your attention.

I knew that at some point we would be here, and I’d see the beginnings of regret forming in your eyes but the thing is—it’s too late.

Because what I realized is that I don’t want a man who doesn’t know what he has, while I am sitting across his lap and kissing his heart—I don’t even ever want to have to talk someone into loving me.

What I am after and what I’ve always needed is the man who notices me while I’m busy with life. The one who doesn’t need to see me dressed up and painted in make-up that only hides who I really am. A man who never asks me to be anything special, because whatever I am on any particular day is exactly the kind of woman that he wants and needs.

I’ve learned the difference between loving and working—and my dear, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to work for your love any longer.

I’m independently owned and operated, and while I do crave a man who can lay it all down and make me melt, it’s not going to happen with someone like you—someone who only sees me when it’s convenient and tries to blink away my memories when it’s not.

No, I’m not on a pedestal, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not special.

I’ve always known I’m a different kind of woman—one who not everyone has the taste for—and while I may have tried to change my flavor and water down my consistency, the truth is that I failed every damn time.

I’m meant to burn this hot, and it’s not my fault that you were always too afraid of getting burned to come close enough to feel the heat of my flames.

So thank you—to all the men who disregarded me. Those lovely, simple men who are after a tiny brown bird to keep house for them, because darlin’, we know there will never be anything bland about me or the way that I love.

The really beautiful thing I am now seeing is that had you not let me go, I would never have been seen by someone who does know exactly what they have while they have it.

And there is no doubt that if you hadn’t let me go so easily, I would ever have known what it feels like to have someone appreciate me for the woman I am, rather than the persona they want me to fulfill.

In many ways, you’ve freed me from having to learn numerous lessons about love at my own expense—and now I am so grateful that you never knew what you had while I was yours, because I’d never have known what this could feel like in the arms of man who can totally and absolutely handle every aspect of me.

So thank you for being blind to my best qualities and ignorant to the language that I spoke to you.

Thank you for wanting me to be someone who could fit neatly and squarely into your life, because if you hadn’t, I would never have learned that I an enigma—a beautiful puzzle that really isn’t meant to be solved.

You were precisely the man I needed at that time, and without you giving up on me so easily, I would never have found the courage to become the woman I was meant to be—and it’s that woman who can attract her match. The type of man who knows how precious I am and how unique my song vibrates within his soul—the kind of man who can simply just know what he has while I am in his hands.

Because the thing I see now is that if someone doesn’t know what a gift they have when they have me, then they simply don’t deserve me.

Life is too short to be constantly attempting to prove my worth to someone.

So thank you to the men who never knew what they had, when they had me, because you’ve opened the door and made room for someone who will.

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Author: Kate Rose

Image: Flickr/Robert Huffstutter 

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

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