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December 24, 2016

An Open Letter to Single Parents who are Alone on Christmas.

 

“I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can’t be bought.” ~ lessonslearnedinlife.com

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You may not have chosen this life—but this life chose you.

Tonight as the tree twinkles in merriment with the expectant giggles and smiles that will surround it tomorrow; I know a part of you is breaking inside.

There is no other day that reminds a single parent just how single they are other than Christmas Eve.

It’s the practice of setting out Santa’s gifts alone, and filling stockings without having someone to share that joy and wonderment with.

And as you fill your stocking with the presents you bought and wrapped for yourself, you realize that those things you need most can’t be bought and won’t be found underneath the tree tomorrow morning.

The thing is that it’s easy to lose ourselves in all that we don’t have on this holiday. There won’t be someone there laughing with us as we set out Santa’s cookies and milk, nor will there be a partner in crime as we spread the ashes around the hearth so that it looks like the man in red made his big appearance.

There won’t be kisses underneath the mistletoe or dancing around the Christmas tree—and most of all, after you finish setting up Christmas morning, there won’t be anyone waiting to snuggle under down comforters for a long winter’s nap.

But, instead of sinking into all that is missing from this day—let’s instead focus on what we do have.

Because right now there are children who are sleeping safe in their beds knowing that tomorrow morning you’re going to greet them with smiles and sweet kisses as you wish them a Merry Christmas with open and loving arms.

And while you may be single—you have to remember that you’re never truly alone.

You may not have chosen this life as a single parent. Perhaps it happened by accident, maybe it even occurred when you hoped after having a child you would finally catch the heart of the person you loved, or maybe it was just that you weren’t meant for the fairytale relationship.

Whatever the reason, the divine power of the universe has guided you to this moment and even though you may not believe in Santa Claus anymore—you have to have faith in the greater plan for your life and your heart.

Right now is exactly where you are supposed to be.

The thing that we often don’t realize is that most times there is a reason why we go through everything that we do, and while it’s tempting to often fill those desires for company superficially, those experiences don’t really satisfy the longing within.

You desire someone who doesn’t just love you—but loves your children as well.

You don’t want happily ever after, but a real forever.

Our experiences prepare us for our destiny, and right now as you are reading this before tucking yourself in, you have to know that something great is awaiting you. Right now in this moment you are being prepared for welcoming the greatest love your life will ever know, but more than that you have to remember that the soul you’re seeking is seeking you too.

Because right now as you are placing the cheerily wrapped gifts under the tree with a smile brighter than the stars—there is someone wishing for exactly the kind of life that you could bring into their lives.

Someone is wishing for an all-encompassing accepting love like yours. They are dreaming of the day that they can not only lay their body down next to someone like you, but also all of their fears and demons—all of those parts of themselves that others didn’t know what to do with.

Quite simply, you have to remember that you are someone’s Christmas wish.

I know that may seem empty while you are still by yourself on this most magical of eves, but you also have to have faith that things always come when we need them the most—not necessarily when we want them to.

There is a reason you are here in this moment. Until we can actually accept and love the lives that we have, the love of a partner will continue to elude us. You don’t just want good for your children, nor do you want someone who can’t see how much your children shape the person that you are.

Because there is a big difference in someone accepting your children versus being able to love them as their own, and for you as you sit in the quiet of this silent night you know deep inside that it’s the latter that you’re seeking.

You know that not only are you deserving of amazing—but your children are as well.

So, don’t settle for mediocre or easy when what you want is that which is incredible.

Have faith that the love you need is already on its way to you. Keep believing in your heart that you haven’t steered off in the wrong direction or made a mistake, because all along every choice that you made or that was made for you has been directing you towards this very moment.

The road to having the life we need is never easy and straight, because it’s not the destination that matters—but the journey along the way.

The places and people we encounter help fortify us, teach us, and reassure us that we are moving in the right direction—so don’t lose heart just because you are alone this evening.

Especially when you consider that the best is truly yet to come—all you have to do is keep having faith in love.

Because love doesn’t come when we want it to—but when it’s meant to.

And until then, hold your children close kissing the sugar plum dreams from their foreheads knowing that on this Christmas their love and presence is truly the most precious of gifts.

“The greatest gifts you can give someone are your time, your love, and your attention.” ~ Unknown

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