4.6
October 29, 2017

9 Responses that Work Better than F*ck You.

One benefit of social media is that it’s pretty easy to see who people are and what they believe—or at least what they publicly project.

For human rights issues in particular, all we have to do is look at someone’s social media pages to see what they represent. In our current social and political climate in America, it can be tempting to say f*ck you to the opposition and call it a day. But, it’s not exactly the most loving reaction, and it doesn’t engender goodwill. Or inform, educate, or help someone understand our side of things.

I decided that it’s time to get a little creative when we disagree with others. Perhaps what we mean is f*ck you, but we can find other ways of projecting our disapproval that’s not quite as vitriolic.

  1. From the South? Then feel free to use Bless your heart. It’s an insult, but it’s a little less volatile.
  2. Die mad about it. I love this one with all my heart. I recently saw a post that addressed how some people use contraceptives purely for sex, and if other people don’t like it, they can die mad about it. I literally laughed out loud because it’s a great way of saying that they don’t have to agree, and they can take that anger to the grave if that’s what they really want to do.
  3. Bye Felicia. When it gets to the point where we really want to say it, maybe it’s time to say goodbye and move on without that person in our lives.
  4. Fork You. Okay, maybe it’s the same thing, but it might be a little easier on the ears of people we know, and it also comes across as a bit of a joke, even if we really mean it.
  5. As we approach Thanksgiving, we can say Get stuffed. Yes, it means the same thing. But it almost has a seasonal ring to it, don’t you think?
  6. Bugger off. I’m American, and this just isn’t a common expression here. Because it’s uncommon and carries the same sentiment, it acts as a good alternative. It’s just another way to say it. Hey, it’s good to expand our vocabularies, right?
  7. Good luck with that. Oh, this one is good. Someone expresses an entirely ridiculous opinion, and we don’t hit them with the full force of the f-bomb. We offer them what seems like well wishes (a cleverly cloaked f-bomb).
  8. Let me know how that works out for you. Or, How’s that working out for you? It’s a great way to say the thing we want to say without saying the thing.
  9. God bless you. Look, before we get hot under the collar about this one, let me just say that I disagree with using religion, any religion, to communicate this message. But I’ve heard it done. (I grew up in the South. It’s a thing Christian-identifying people sometimes say as their f-bomb when they walk away after an argument. It’s not a good thing. Stop it right now!)

There will always be people out there who make us want to drop the f-bomb, hard! I get it. And, maybe some of us just put it out there. But, as a mother with little ears around who repeat everything, I’m hoping I can curb some of this language enough that they don’t go to kindergarten dropping the f-bomb on some kid who took the toy they wanted.

Sometimes, I may loudly exclaim, Shut the front door, or What the fox?  And, it makes me consider how often I use the f-bomb in other situations and if there’s a nicer way to communicate the message without resorting to that particular weapon in my arsenal.

Honestly, I don’t even have an issue with cursing. There are studies that showing people who use profanity might even be more intelligent. This isn’t even a judgment on people who regularly drop the f-bomb like we’re at war. I was just curious about the alternatives and how I can be a little more discreet when communicating to others.

I’d like to always lead with love, but I must admit, that there are times when any one of the above might come in handy.

~

Author: Crystal Jackson
Image: Rick and Brenda Beerhorst/Flickr
Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron

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Jenny Kesa Lane Apr 8, 2018 1:01pm

'Kick rocks' That's an oldie but a goodie.

Angela Kingston Feb 13, 2018 7:49pm

I’ve said “go shove it up Marvin’s ass”

Angela Kingston Feb 13, 2018 7:46pm

I can say “fuck you” and not sound harsh, the only other 2 I use in the above is, “God Bless You” and “let me know how that works out for you” otherwise, it’s FUCK all day long... my question is, who ever decided the word FUCK was offensive and the DARN wasn’t? Who makes up these rules? SHIT is but POOP isn’t?

Angela Kingston Feb 13, 2018 7:41pm

Ahhh, fuck it! Why fucking change now? People to fucking sensitive these fucking days. They can go fuck off over there. :)

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Tannis Chamberlain Nov 4, 2017 4:57am

I like these a lot. I will definitely try the bugger off one, that actually sounds like something I would say. If I am really mad I use Have a nice day and walk away.

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Crystal Jackson

Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned full-time writer. Her first fiction novel Left on Main, the first in the Map of Madison series, will be released by Sands Press in October 2019. Her work has been featured on Elephant Journal, Medium, Elite Daily, Your Tango, The Good Men Project, The Urban Howl, and Sivana East. You can follow Crystal on Facebook or at www.crystaljacksonwriter.com