Masculinity is almost a negative term in today’s lexicon. This is due in large part to the association with toxic masculinity. Violence, misogyny, Patriarchal dominance, Racism, the list goes on, but most of you reading this post get the picture. It is a form of masculinity if we even want to call it that, which results from a lack of compassionate leadership, disconnection with feminine energy and perpetuated adolescence. We all seem to know what toxic masculinity is, but what is the opposite of toxic masculinity? This question is a little harder for some to answer, and it seems to be distressingly hard for a lot of well-intentioned men to answer. This is the reason that I have chosen to address the issue of masculinity in this post.
As I see it, the opposite of, or antidote to toxic masculinity is Divine Masculinity. That which pairs with the feminine energy and represents the completion of the balance. The Yang to the Yin, The Shiva to the Shakti and the Father Time to Mother Earth. Divine Masculinity admires and celebrates the feminine with rooted, grounded strength. It compliments the dynamic fluidity of feminine forces with driven certainty and deliberate intention. It is solid, powerful and resilient. The Divine Masculine is not afraid, not belligerent, not vicious or wrathful, it is not jealous or envious. It is confident, driven, strong, bold and brave. When masculinity is described in popular discourse it is represented by adolescent sexuality and frightened reactionary indignation.
Toxic masculinity is justified by a state of fear. It is the result of stagnation in the development of executive functioning brought about by ineffective leadership, role models and absenteeism. It is the result of catastrophic standards of education and outdated religious beliefs that serve to undermine the Divine Feminine. It is a result of the glorification of the ego as a separate entity rather than an interconnected system. Toxic masculinity feeds on separation. It thrives in an environment of ignorance and is manifested as anger, resentment, and disgust. Toxic masculinity mistakes dominance for strength is oppositional in nature and is ultimately self-destructive as it is condemning of anything related to a reflective inquiry or emotional presence.
Divine Masculinity, on the other hand, creates structure by leading without imposition. It presents options to the feminine and responds openly and honestly when presented with challenging feedback. The Divine Masculine says what it means and means what it says. When a man (or woman for that matter) in the channel of Divine Masculinity needs to make a decision he or she allows the Divine Masculine to provide guidance and then creates structure around that guidance, rather than imposing his or her will in opposition to the spontaneous nature of the divine presentation. When presented with a challenging decision we can respond by saying, “Let me sit with it.” and when we request feedback we can say, “How does that feel?”
Divine Masculinity wants to be of service, particularly to a partner. This is why men often are in the position of trying to “fix” things, meaning problems or situations. This often doesn’t work as the women in our lives don’t want us to be the fixer, but rather to just be present and allow them to speak their truth to us. Instead, we need to find alternative ways of fixing things. In a very real sense, we need to hold space for ourselves in these situations, thereby fixing our own need to eliminate problems as we see them. At the same time, men who are in the channel of the Divine Masculine want a partner to assist him in what he is supposed to do on the planet. He wants a partner to assist him in pursuing his dharma.
The good news about all this is that men and women who are in touch with the divine masculine are completely engrossed in what they are doing. The Divine Masculine is captivated, immersed in and committed to the endeavor of its intention. Therefore, if one wants to be connected to the divine masculine, then the very nature of that energy will compel one to put a significant amount of focus and attention on that pursuit. This connection is bound to produce results. If we are truly aligned with this energy, it is virtually inconceivable that it will not. Furthermore, if we can build this connection with men specifically, we will see a dramatic reduction in the hostile, violent and destructive behavior that we have witnessed in recent years. Those behaviors are not a result of the connection to Divine
Masculinity but a connection to a toxic form of masculinity which is incomplete, unbalanced and self-loathing. This is my conviction.
May you be happy,
May you be well,
May you be free from suffering.