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March 11, 2019

Shattering the Story


“Why is this less awkward than a date?” I asked, and we both agreed with giggles that seemed to transcend any speakable-truth.

“Because when people go out on dates, there’s all this ‘story’,” she said, lifting her hand to make the universal finger-wiggle for air quotes.

We were cuddling, and pillow-talking. Meet Heather, she’s a Professional Cuddlist. That’s how we know each other, and how we ended up lying in a bed together.

The context, the container, of professional cuddling, is very relaxing. And what a relief! It’s helping to shatter litany of culturally conditioned boxes about intimacy and loneliness.

Honestly, it took me months to work up the courage to make an appointment with Heather. At first, I was worried I’d be “attracted” to her, then I came up with the story that she was “too attractive” and that would make me feel uncomfortable.

I finally worked up the courage to schedule an appointment anyway. And it was one of the most comfortable experiences of my life. Heather has an amazingly professional, relaxing and comforting bedside manner (no pun intended).

It is ironic, though, that in the context of trading dollars for cuddling, I felt so much less projected awkwardness than what typically arises when two humans typically agree to meet up, whatever the context ~ be it coffee, platonic friendship, or the dreaded use of an app to make a new connection.

I am very happy that professional cuddling is a profession in today’s world. There’s definitely no APP (and never could be!) for actual human touch. But, there is at least one app so far to help us find professional cuddlers.

I think professional cuddling is a  wonderful experience that so many of us could benefit from. It gets us back in touch with a basic human need for connection, shattering the story that intimacy is something to be afraid of, or even to be reserved for sexual relationships. Those are all just cultural stories.

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