I am more aware of my thoughts than I’ve ever been. This may sound funny if you haven’t yet found a community that places a lot of emphasis on guiding your thinking process. There was a time when I allowed my thoughts to ramble on unchecked, carrying me to places I had no desire to go.
Our brains are turned on all day long, running ongoing commentary on everything we’re currently experiencing, everything we imagine experiencing in the future, and experiences we’ve had in the past. We have opinions about everything in our environment—from the people we encounter and their behaviors or lifestyles, to the way the weather accompanies us on a given day and how time dances with each next step in our process. Our brains offer a continuous monologue as we move through our lives, silently judging every moment:
Things we like
Things we don’t
People we wish would change
Circumstances we wish were different
I vividly recall the moment I realized my thinking was affecting my mood, and subsequently affecting the way I was experiencing life. I was driving down an average road in the middle of an average day feeling an above average amount of ease and happiness.
I’d already seen the results of deliberate manifestation in my life—and knew firsthand that I had the power to create any reality I chose—yet I’d fallen back into deep chasms of depression that had lasted for years, and was having a blessed and somewhat brief glimpse above water.
I realized that my current joyful exuberance for life and the sheer fun of being in it was because I’d been consistently thinking happy thoughts, filled with gratitude, love, acceptance, and this easy feeling that life is supposed to be fun. I wasn’t worrying, wasn’t fearful or anxious, and hadn’t been judging experiences as good or bad. I was flowing through each moment, simply allowing life to unfold and offering no resistance.
Then I had a thought. It was about a common scenario at the time that normally occupied the complaining part of my brain. I saw this thought as an isolated object that could be held up and observed for what it was—a choice.
I knew in this fateful moment that the thing my brain was complaining about didn’t have to be a big deal if I didn’t let it; that I didn’t need to let it bring me down. This one complaint I’d isolated could be let go of and I would continue along my journey, flowing with the inherent fun of exploring life and the grand experiment of it all.
I could allow the thought to linger. If I held the thought in my consciousness long enough and continued looking at it, I knew the complaint would grow in meaning and intensity. This single complaint would lead to another, and another. I was fully aware that if I allowed this train of thought to proceed, I might go barreling back down the hill and into the deep, gaining so much momentum I may not know how to pull myself back up again.
It would give me great pleasure to tell you that in that moment I made the decision to let the thought go. Apparently I still had some deep learning to gain from diving back in. I did so consciously and witnessed with great interest as my mind ran amuck before I was swallowed again. It would be awhile before I would find my way back to the surface.
However, having that moment of simply witnessing allowed me the strength later (and the openness) when the time came to hear a vital message I’d not heard or heeded for well over a decade—and make a lasting commitment to myself.
Choose the better feeling place. Always.
For me, the message came back to me in the inspirational work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. I stumbled onto one of his talks on YouTube when researching animated videos on how neurotransmitters work in our brains. I remembered him from “What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?” and resonated with his message all over again. I devoured his book, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One,” then began inundating myself with other inspirational speakers I’d not listened to in years. It’s as if a hand had reached down and was lifting me out of my darkest corner.
I re-immersed myself in study about the feedback loop between our thoughts and emotions, about the art of allowing, and deliberate co-creating. I decided to consistently and consciously guide my thoughts so that I can experience the life I choose.
In the few years that have passed between then and now, I have witnessed many isolated complaints come and go as I deliberately turn my focus to better feeling thoughts. I’ve watched with growing wonder as my life shapes itself to my internal visions for myself.
As I work consciously with my own powerful thoughts and focus on immense feelings of gratitude, I see people, circumstances, opportunities and events materialize into my life with increasing speed. The more aware I am of my thoughts and emotions, the faster and more accurately the results show up in my life—both things that I want and the things that I don’t.
This bears repeating…
As our awareness grows and we see how our very thoughts (together with our emotions) determine our reality, results begin showing up in our lives with greater speed and precision.
Everything out there is a near perfect match to what’s going on insider here. Each time I feel my body begin to tense up, or my mind wants to wander into judgment, I firmly remind myself that I have a choice.
Today I choose to direct my energy toward those things I am wanting to experience, so that what the world reflects back to me is more and more to my liking. It’s a fantastic journey for me and I am personally thrilled to be on it.
Thank you for being my mirror.
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Photo credit: Inga Gezalian