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Every time we feel the rush of excitement that comes from meeting a new lover, we are in for a ride.
Because at some point, the fairy tale falls apart and the veil of romanticism disappears.
We no longer see a perfect person—the one who we’ve been waiting for. Rather, we see a normal human—flaws and all.
It might feel like we’ve been seeing our partner through rose-colored glasses, and we feel shocked, deflated, and disappointed at what’s in front of us now.
This person is not who we thought they were; maybe, we even feel blindsided. But, in reality, the person we see now was always there, we just weren’t able to see.
We had become blinded by our intense desire to avoid pain—to have someone show up and make us feel good again. But no one can make us feel anything. Our feelings belong to us, and no one can heal our pain—that’s an inside job.
We wanted the perfect partner, but instead, we attracted the same pattern—the same old wound that still needs attention. So, we have two options: push against the wound and avoid it or lean into it. At this point, most people end the relationship and find someone new.
Maybe the relationship really wasn’t a fit, but even so, finding someone new isn’t going to solve our problems. The important thing to recognize is that the inner work is calling us, and it will keep calling until this pattern is addressed. There’s no avoiding the challenges that ask us to rise into our highest self.
We might numb out for a period of time, but the lesson will inevitably come again.
Instead, we can dig in and see the truth behind our attractions—the truth behind why the same relationship problems occur time and time again.
This pain is an opportunity to heal—a chance to resolve past traumas, forgive ourselves and others, and fall in love with ourselves again.