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August 1, 2019

How I Learned the Lesson In Love.

Are You Ready For Your Soul Mate?


It took a lot of years for me to finally realise, that until I learnt the lesson, the lesson would keep showing up, that’s just how the universe works.


And that the same lesson, just has a different face… Have you noticed that…?


If you have, what has been the lesson…?  The lessons for all of us of course will be different, as we are all on different paths. Nevertheless the path for all of us is one where the goal is to have grown and evolved into the best version of our TRUE selves.


To have learnt that we can only fully love another when we fully love ourselves. Until then the universe is just going to give us ANOTHER ‘lesson’… 




Here you are… See if you learn THIS time… From THIS ‘lesson’…  (call me a slow learner!) 


Are any of these lessons relatable…?


We start to resent the other person because it seems like we’re doing all the giving. But we seem to have lost our voice… I hear you.


We always self-sacrifice our own needs… And our needs never seem to get met, or they get ignored.


We’re in a toxic environment or have been,  where there is or was, a part of us that resonates with the other persons toxicity.


We’re being emotionally and mentally, verbally abused and then made to feel like we’re the ones that are going crazy. We may retaliate abusively, as a way of survival.


If we can relate to accepting and doing some, or all of these behaviours, it means we’re human. 


Some of us will have had trauma as a child, adolescent, or both, maybe creating abandonment and rejection issues. This then develops into an attachment style which will stay with us until we have learned to heal. It is our responsibility to heal ourselves, it is not another’s responsibility. If we do not heal ourselves we can become codependent in an unhealthy way, this is when we allow these behaviours and behave this way too.


We become emotionally unavailable. This is when we attract emotionally unavailable ‘lessons’ to us. As emotional unavailability is only alluring if we’re emotionally unavailable too.

But are we aware of this and how we’re really ‘being’…?


This way of ‘being’ can stem from a variety of personal issues such as low self worth, loneliness, fear, and familiarity… depending on what life experiences we have had.


We think someone else’s love is going to fill the void within ourselves and we selfishly expect another person to do it for us, without even realising that is what we are doing… I know this was what I used to believe AND expect…


We build our walls up so high without realising this is doing us more harm than good. By being emotionally unavailable and not allowing another person ‘in’, we are preventing ourselves from feeling love and experiencing life in its full glory. We expect the other person to work hard to prove to us that they’re not like the last ‘lesson’. When really it is us that needs to work on removing the bricks from our walls, by taking the time for self care and self love. To nurture ourselves and our inner child. 


We can remove each brick from our walls with affirmations…


I AM Enough.

I AM Worthy.

I AM Confident.

I AM Powerful.

I AM in control of how I respond to situations, and the rest I surrender.

I Release judgement of myself.

I set boundaries with ease as an act of self care and self respect.


While the healing is taking place (it takes approximately 6-8 months for the subconscious to process complete forgiveness, for someone who has hurt you emotionally) and the bricks from our walls are falling away, it is then time to…


Go out and learn something new. 

Do something that scares us. 

Do something for ourselves that brings us joy.

Put our needs first, say NO. 

Make our surroundings warm and inviting. (Something as simple as buying flowers for our home. This changes the energy around us in our environment. So we’re not just changing the energy within our inner world but in our outer world too). 


Lets BUILD new found confidence, positivity and realise how powerful we really are.


We attract what we are and what we are ready for…


And when you are ready, it WILL come. Love will find you. We don’t have to go looking for it.


We all hope to meet ‘The One’ where it feels mind blowingly MAGICAL… But until we see and feel the MAGIC and light within ourselves, the universe does not grant us our wish…


When we have explored and healed all of our mental and emotional scars and learnt what it is we have needed to, THEN the universe gives us what we are READY FOROUR SOUL MATE… and that little bit of MAGIC… So we have to have Faith and Trust…


The LESSON IN LOVE… To Accept our life experiences, good and bad. To Forgive others and our ‘lessons’. To Accept and Forgive our dark sides, as we can not be light without dark. To Love ourselves first AND our inner child.


Never forgetting that we are all beautiful souls just trying our best with what we know in this present moment.     




I AM GRATEFUL to the universe. To spirit. And to every ‘lesson’.  Because without them I would not be who I AM today. 




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Maxine Carter  |  Contribution: 775