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August 17, 2019

The Art of Hooking Up, Mindfully. {Adult}

Selfish or selfless, everyone’s pursuit of pleasure has a different story.

Hooking up is a fun way to enjoy someone’s body without committing to love or any other emotional feelings.

However, most of us have ended up facing terrible encounters whilst waking up the next day minus the post-coital glow (ladies), only to sprint back home. The number of people one has slept with is unimportant if all those numbers have been lousy experiences.

So, how can we be satisfied in one night with a complete stranger?

“Freedom is what freedom does.” Is sex the be-all and end-all of one’s existence? Free love is an understatement, everything in life comes with a price to pay. The era of “Free Love” was a glorious one where the baby boomers made love through protests and Woodstock followed by the rock and roll days of groupies and Studio 54.

Here are a few basic rules to follow for that next hookup to be memorable perhaps:

Rule 1: Beer goggles are not real attraction; mutual attraction is real.

If you can’t look at this person in the eye and undress them without your tequila shots, then good luck. Drunk kissing is fun but what follows?

How do you sense mutual attraction? Positive body language, warm smiles, a twinkle in the eye, long gaze followed by blushing and mirroring one another.

Rule 2: Understand your type.

Everyone has a type, yes even the ones who think no “I like them all.” Take a pen and paper, analyse, and understand what you attract but also what you would like to attract. It is not possible for anyone to be attracted to everyone, a good-looking person can be admired but there is a difference between attraction and admiration.

Rule 3: Small talk is passé.

Ask them about their dreams, fears, and failures. Impress them and scandalize them with your politeness, listening skills, and body language. A stimulating conversation equals foreplay.

Rule 4: Take charge of your body, understand the path to pleasure.

If you don’t know your body, how can it be expected that a total stranger could do so? Explore your desires, understand what turns you on, and learn through the recollection of experiences with lovers.

Rule 5: Beauty is as beauty does.

Perfect bodies, perfect this, and perfect that…take a look at yourself in the mirror and then understand your potential first. Beauty will fade, perfection is an illusion framed by a materialistic society to achieve their sales target. Take care of yourself, be comfortable in your skin.

Confidence is sexy, a good personality is sexy, intelligence is sexy, and we all possess a unique charm that stands out. The key is to understand the strength and beauty of that charm and abiding by the boundaries of mutual attraction.

Being a privileged generation of X, Y, and Zs, patience is not really our forte. In spite of the ravaging impatience to fornicate whilst calling it puppy love, statistics have shown us to be the ones having the least of satisfying sexual encounters.

Our parents and grandparents seem to be luckier than us in their romantic prospects! Keeping this in mind, I hope we will consciously indulge in sexy moments for ourselves without sabotaging our minds in a meaningless void of trying to please and chase situations and people who leave us bitter, orgasm-less, and unworthy.

Let’s make the world a happier place, one conscious sexual encounter at a time.

 ~

author: Ann Loraine

Image: Alfie/IMDB

Editor: Naomi Boshari

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Ann Loraine

Ann Loraine loves to write about the beauty of relationships, life, circumstances, and everything else she finds magical. Her writing is inspired through balancing Tantric practices, existential angst, and bohemian mantras apart from the writers, artists, and people who’ve inspired her. She is an advocate of Conscious Sensuality and Emotions in Modern Relationships who does not believe in the ideology of hierarchy, patriarchy, and toxic feminism. Where actions and emotions failed, words freely accepted her for the portrayal of human emotions at its worst because “the best emotions” are not the most heart-clenching ones.