2.5
September 23, 2019

How to own the F*ck out of your Life & Trust your own damn Self.

No one can give you the meaning of your life.

No guru, no spiritual teacher, or anyone else holds the keys to your life. At the most, others can only inspire you.

You are a unique individual with a unique body, with a unique life story and past history.

You have a unique mind, a unique heart beat, unique skills, and a unique soul blueprint.

We usually run to our friends, lovers, even online strangers to ask for help when we feel desperate, when our pain weighs more then our heart or when our minds float in the air with no sense of direction.

We run to other people when we feel lost or don’t know who we are anymore.

While it is great to have a good shoulder to cry on sometimes, I guarantee you that no one has the key to your existence in this planet.

You have to find it or create it on your own. One step at a time. One day at a time.

You have to allow life within your flesh and bones to guide you for this.

It’s not as easy as it is said. I know from experience.

We are creatures of habits, and letting go or allowing seem to not be part of our daily vocabulary.

Yet letting go and allowing are two ingredients that would make your life so much easier and so much more graceful if we learn and obey the art of letting things be or go.

We want to control life. It’s part of the human condition. We have this need to know. We have this obsessive want to go our way always.

But have you ever stopped to investigate or question what would happen if things don’t go your way but go according to life’s way? As they always go?

That does not mean being passive. Allowing life to guide you means becoming an active participant in creating your life, as life itself within and outside of you shows you the way.

It’s called balance.

Why are you having the experiences you are having in your life? Because you came to this planet with a potential that needs to be explored and materialized in the physical world.

Your nervous system is that human biological and energetic part of you that holds you together.

You need to allow your inner nervous system to speak to you, because it is uniquely yours and operates in its own unique way.

Your brain is wired the way it is to serve you well in this lifetime, to help you to your next evolution phase. That’s there to make you reach higher in your potential.

Read books, go to workshops, listen to others share their life stories—that’s all fine, but don’t expect or wait for anyone to hand you the recipe or the ingredients to a joyful, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

You have to walk your path and create your life with each new step, every single moment. And you will need to let go of fixed and rigid concepts and beliefs as you move along.

You need to undress yourself from layers of early conditioning, allowing for more empty space within your mind…then allow the Universe or God, or whatever name you want to put on that Universal Intelligence, to create miracles out of it.

I felt like a desperate person most of the time in my 20s, suffering for prolonged periods of time from depression because I had lost meaning to my life and and I had lost myself.

I desperately searched for other people’s advice on a constant basis, from friends to complete strangers.

I felt like I had no center within my being.

No foundation.

The first wind blowing me would shake my entire “confidence” and make me collapse on the floor.

I was completely terrified of my own being. I did not trust myself. I did not even know I had a self. I believed someone out there had the answers for me, and this illusion kept me going for so f*cking long, keeping me in the same trap.

I was always dissatisfied and disappointed when what worked for others did not work for me. I wanted to open the door to my life with their keys. I tried so damn hard, and it never worked.

Because, while I was trying to use their keys to my life, I was ignoring completely my being and its unique design. I was ignoring completely what called into my heart, what song did my throat want to sing, what dreams were hanging in my chest waiting to be acknowledged and celebrated.

None of other people’s keys fitted into my life’s door.

So I stood in front of my life’s door as a beggar, crying a river for so many years, not knowing how to open it.

I was only an insecure little girl for most of my life, no matter how I appeared on the outside.

My inside world had a different story to tell.

It’s not that now I am completely free from insecurities, but now I am more aware of whatever disturbs me inside, and so I choose to not allow it direct me in life any longer.

Ever since I decided to dedicate my life’s energy to building my own foundation and grounding, everything shifted.

When I decided to invest my time, energy, and hard work into building myself like a kingdom, my life was never the same.

I let go of many things, as hard as it felt.

I let go my desperate need to know when I was thrown into a deep, dark unknown.

I trusted instead. I trusted this energy that some people call God to lead me to the best of the best for my heart and life.

I let go of my desperate need for a man in my life.

I chose (I am choosing every day) to follow my own passions instead. And it worked (still is working) new miracles in my life.

I let go of my need to be validated by others or accepted by them.

I chose instead to learn how to discover myself and accept each part of me—dark and light equally. Still lots of work to do in this department.

I let go of my thought patterns of playing small to not make others feel uncomfortable or upset or jealous.

I put sexy panties and a bra as well as high heels on and started to dance without a care in the world. It was intimidating at first, but I accepted the challenge and I went through it.

I still expose myself every day, and people tell me I have changed so much since when they last saw me.

Yes, I am changing. I am transforming because I make clear choices, and that gives me joy.

Speaking of…I let go of shame and shyness and embraced (still am every day) my sensual and sexual self through physical exposure, through dancing and other artistic channels.

If someone comes to you and tells you that you can use their keys to your inner universe, run the f*ck away.

No one has the magic stick to your inner universe but you.

No one can create stars for you but you.

But you need to be courageous.

You need to develop the warrior skills and attributes.

You need to learn how to stand up for yourself in all situations and have your say.

You need to clear your throat and tell the hard truth anyway.

You need to take risks and dare to be seen.

Sometimes we need to expose our weakness or vulnerability and see the gifts of each of these “not wanted” qualities of our beings.

In time, we will understand that it’s not other people’s opinions that scare you; it is our own belief system. Most of the time, it’s our own inner thinking patterns and beliefs that trouble us or stress us out. The reality may be something entirely different from what we are assuming.

Once you let those outworn inner beliefs go after questioning if they are true, you will find your inner freedom to create a new you and meet your essence after each shedded layer.

The key to your life is in your hands.

Don’t look elsewhere.

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