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September 30, 2019

Self-Love is Not a Hoax (& How I finally Found It).

I’ve always had a journal.

When I was seven years old, someone gifted me a diary. It was purple, it had a moon on it, and a lock and key.

It was my favorite thing.

Years passed, and I continued to write. I wrote short stories and poems, and continued to excel in anything that had to do with writing.

Having a journal allowed me to write out my feelings and how I felt about a situation I was dealing with. I found clarity where there was confusion, and, oftentimes, a friend.

It sounds so lame, right?

But there have been times in my life when I felt completely alone.

I felt like the only thing that I could turn to was my journal. I never felt judged because I could fully write out exactly how I felt and why I felt this way. I could write out my true feelings and never once hear anyone say that I was wrong for feeling this way. It was like I was able to validate my own feelings.

Then something shifted. The more and more I would write, it was as if something powerful took over me and began giving me the answers to what I was asking.

It was a new way of writing. It was like my mind would open up and in would flow light, guidance, and spirit.

I began dedicating more time to my journal writing, almost as if I was attending church.  Connecting with source in this way has given me an opening to myself that I had blocked for years.

Not loving myself enough because I didn’t want to deal with the ugliness that I felt I created. It was better to keep living “asleep” than to live awake.

How lame is that?

But that’s how I thought. I didn’t want to see that I too had created this mess I sat in.

I don’t say this to make anyone feel bad. I say this because I want everyone to see that healing is possible.

We can live a life that is beautiful. We can make all of our dreams come true. Self-love is not a hoax, my friends.

Self-love allows us to grow. It allows us to enter into relationships that are deep and meaningful without the hang-ups of insecurities.

It says, “Hey, I love you. But I love me more. But that’s okay, because the more I love myself, the more I am able to love you. And the more you love yourself, the more love you’re able to give me. And we exchange love, and in turn are able to give love to others.”

Next time you are feeling misunderstood or alone, I encourage you to reach for a journal. Open it up. Look at the pages, sit in silence, and just write.

Make this a daily practice, and see how much your life will improve.

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author: Mayra Beltran

Image: Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Editor: Kelsey Michal