September 30, 2019

Why not Believing in Destiny may be Detrimental to our Dreams.


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I believe in destiny.

I’ve been waiting to write this article for a long time. It feels fun and risky and important all at once.

There are a lot of people who don’t believe in the concept of destiny. And I get it. I remember watching “The Secret” in college hearing the man with the chalkboard say, “There’s no such thing as destiny!”

It sounded scientific and logical.

To a lot of people, the concept of destiny belongs in the realm of fairy tales. It’s nice to smile about Disneyland, but come on, we’re adults now.

We surely don’t believe that’s a real thing (but I do).

I believe in destiny.

A lot of people have resistance to it, because they don’t want people to end up in victim mode, and that’s a valid concern.

But let me be clear: I don’t believe that we are victims of life. I don’t believe that life is just happening to us and we don’t have any control over it. I don’t believe that anybody is trapped and limited and doomed by fate to a predetermined existence.

And I still believe in destiny.

What do I mean by destiny? It is something to which a person is destined.

I believe…

You are not here by accident.
There is a reason you are here.
There is a purpose for your life.
There is someone you came here to be.
There is something you came here to do.
You are an unrepeatable miracle handmade by God.
You are essential to this Universe.
We need you here.

We need your contribution to our world.

There are moments destined for you. There are people destined for you. There are spaces destined for you. There is work you are meant to do. There is a message you are meant to share. There are experiences you are meant to live.

What is for you, is for you. You cannot lose it, miss it, or mess it up. As my friend Jake says, God will not deliver your mail to the wrong address. You will get everything that has your name on it.

That is what I mean when I use the word destiny.

I believe in it with all my heart. And full disclosure: I always have believed.

When I was just a little kid, sitting in my tree house pretending to host my television show—I believed in it, even back then in the middle of a fundamentalist cult.

Nobody around me would have understood the industry I wanted to participate in or the level of impact I desired to have. They would not have been able to even imagine it, much less believe it was possible. But I knew what I felt in my heart, and as I’ve learned over the years, our hearts are always telling us the truth.

That’s why reading The Alchemist was so important to me. I read that book for the first time and thought, “Whoa! Somebody else articulated what I’ve believed in all along!”

I’m here for my destiny. I trust in it. I partner with it every day, and I’m here for the people who claim theirs.

I am here to support you in moving into and through those destiny moments.

How do we do this on a daily basis?

Start with the end in mind.

In the classic self-help book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey famously challenges people to consider what they want to be said about them at their funeral.

The exercise may feel a little bit morbid, but it’s a powerful way to assess what really matters to you and where you ultimately want to end up.

When your human experience in this lifetime has come to an end, what do you want people to say about you? What do you want them to remember? What do you want your legacy to be?

Start with the end in mind.

It’s easy to live our lives in the rut of the mundane, getting lost in the details of what must be taken care of every day. When we get distracted by endless to-do lists, we often forget the goals, desires, and dreams that matter to us the most.

I challenge you to interrupt that cycle. As you plan your days, weeks, and years, keep what is most important to you at the front of your mind at all times, and live accordingly.

Show up in every situation as the highest and best version of yourself.

One of my favorite spiritual texts, A Course in Miracles, teaches that we cannot have anything that we are not willing to be.

So much of the journey of stepping into our destiny is about becoming someone new, which, in a mysterious way, is simultaneously becoming the most authentic version of ourselves (which has been inside of us all along).

If you want to reach a moment that feels like your destiny, start showing up as that person now.

Don’t keep telling yourself that you’ll choose to be honest, brave, or make a new choice once the circumstances are different. The reality is that you are defining your future right now. As you choose to be the highest and best version of yourself at this moment, the highest and best possibilities for your life will unfold automatically.

Do not let voices into your life that don’t align with where you’re going.

Not everyone is going to understand where you are headed. I’m here to tell you that is completely okay! Not everyone needs to understand. It’s certainly not a prerequisite for reaching your destiny.

In fact, many people are held back from their destiny because of the voices in their lives that project fear, doubt, and limitation onto their desires and dreams.

Here’s a potentially-tough-to-hear reality check that should also come as a sigh of relief.

It actually doesn’t matter what your mom, brother, boss, neighbor, coworker, or high school acquaintance (who still follows you on Facebook) thinks about your future.

Their belief is not creating your reality. Yours is.

So make sure your belief system matches up with where you’re going, and don’t allow people to speak into your life who don’t align with that.

I’m not saying you have to cut off old friends or stop going to family reunions (although you have my full permission if it has become a toxic situation).

What I am saying is that you can’t let the wrong people be a voice of authority in your life. Even if they give unwanted input, you have to make the final call.

The most magical life you can imagine is waiting for you.

It’s your job to believe in it.

I once read a psychological study that said the vast majority of the biggest celebrities of our time all believed it was their destiny to be famous. While some might write that off as merely a coincidence, I believe there’s a direct link of cause and effect there.

When you believe something is your destiny, you move toward it boldly with faith and expectation, and you give yourself the highest possible chance to succeed. Who wouldn’t want that?

I believe in destiny.

Do you?

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