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October 9, 2019

She Traveled through Hell & came back Naked—Riding the Devil.

*Warning: salty language ahead!

~

She traveled through hell and came back naked—riding the devil.

So no, she wouldn’t settle for less than heaven,

this time around.

She got burnt by the fire of her inner demons,

watched them laugh at her skin dissolving, and came back out of the ashes

as a red and blue motherfuckin’ Phoenix.

So no, she wouldn’t chase love or men any longer.

She wouldn’t choose what or whom

does not choose her.

She would choose to love,

buy no chasing games anymore.

She carried the burden

of a thousand sandbags on her shoulder,

and patiently watched as her arms bled.

And yet, she kept going.

She made the weather

bow to her heart’s desire for freedom,

and traveled through to the sun and back.

So no, she wouldn’t depend on anyone for her inner bliss and freedom,

yet she is ready to allow genuine connections inside her heart

by tearing her walls down when she needs to,

when those who desire to know her

have genuine intention and interest.

She walked miles and miles alone to build herself a home within,

a nest of bliss around her greatest passions and dreams,

so no, she wouldn’t accept less than magic,

less than songs of love

and embraces that feed the arteries of her heart

with fresh blood and new life.

She had to go through the dead corpses of her old self

and visit them at the closest cemetery

to finally wake up from death and sleep,

and realize no one can make her free

and blissful in life except for her own understanding and expansion.

No one can be her hero

but her own spirit.

She had to touch so many layers of broken pieces within

to realize she is not broken;

she is instead being opened and penetrated by the entire Universe

so she can receive more

of what she deserves.

She still has layers to go through.

And she is doing her work to create a masterpiece out of her being…

one that will shock more than a few,

perhaps terrorize a few others,

and will make some run the fuck away from her.

She is rising.

She is rising from the ruins of her past

and family conditioning.

She is rising from all the bullshit

she was told about herself and life.

She is rising above all the games

others played on her inner keyboard, because she fucking owns

her own piano, and she knows exactly

what kind of songs she is going to compose from now on.

She is rising above all the lies she told herself,

and all the illusions she borrowed from past lovers.

She now knows that the love she thought she was chasing

resides inside the walls of her heart,

and that’s the place she needs to decorate and make a garden out of

before she meets another garden

that is also blossoming from within.

~

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author: Ilda Dashi

Image: Joey Nicotra/Unsplash

Editor: Nicole Cameron