November 7, 2019

How our Subconscious keeps us from Finding (or Keeping) Love.

Your life is like a movie projected from your subconscious mind.

Even if you think it’s you who is making all of the decisions—it’s not.

Did you ever consider that in most cases, it’s your subconscious that directs your likes, dislikes, choices, and actions?

So how do you make sure that your subconscious is working in alignment with your highest desires?

To illustrate my idea better, I’ll use psychologist Alexander Sviyash’s metaphor that I came across years ago in one of his books.

Imagine your subconscious is like a big library of crystal balls. Similar to the one in Harry Potter. But each crystal ball is different—different size and colour. And each of them carries memories, stories, beliefs, and programs.

The ones that are used the most often are closer to the entrance into your subconscious (the library). For example, memories about your last trip or about how to walk or how to drive a car. The ones that are used less often are further and harder to access. But if the memory or program is charged with strong positive or strong negative emotion, the crystal is bigger and it glows. Let’s say positive emotion has a golden glow and negative emotion has a black or burning red glow.

Now, every time when you have to make a decision, there is a process that happens in a split second. Your mind goes to your subconscious (into a room of crystal balls) to find an answer, a decision.

So it opens the door to your subconscious and sees plenty of crystal balls. It’s going to choose a ball (program, belief, memory) that is easy to choose and wastes the least amount of your energy. So either a ball that is right next to the entrance—your usual, habitual choice—or a ball that shines and attracts a lot of attention.

So let’s see how it works in a real life.

Let’s say when you were younger, you were dating a partner and got hurt. After the relationship ended, you made a decision that you will never ever fall in love again. You were full of disappointment, anger, shame, and you put all of that energy into your words, your affirmation. So you created a memory—and a new crystal ball got planted into your subconscious.

And now, five or ten years later, you are searching for a partner, but no relationship seems to work out. Every single time you meet a person who could potentially be a great partner, something happens. Shortly after you start dating, you start noticing all kind negative traits that you cannot tolerate: he munches his food too loud when he eats, she always bites her nails, and so on. And that is enough to drive you away.

And why is that?

Because when you met a new potential partner, your mind started evaluating this person. It went to your subconscious to seek for a right decision, and it saw this red, glowing crystal ball yelling, “I will never ever fall in love again.” The mind saw that this is important to you because you recorded it with so much passion and emotion.

And so now, when you meet this incredible partner, your mind makes sure that it does everything to prevent you from falling in love, so that you perceive only things that would drive you away from this person. Because that was your command. No matter how long ago you created it.

So, often, it’s not you, but your subconscious that creates your reality.

Of course, it is programmed not only by you and your decisions; it is also programmed by parents, friends, TV, newspapers, music. And all of those programs are creating your life. All these programs that are sitting in your subconscious are creating your reality.

So if you want to become the creator of your life and manifest the reality that your heart desires, you need to change the programs that you have in your subconscious. Especially the ones that are recorded with strong emotions.

In a case like that, no affirmations are going to work for you. Work with affirmations is only like putting a Band-Aid onto a wound. It might temporarily hide your programming, but the wound will always be there and will create problems later in the future.

What you need to do is to eliminate the emotional charge—heal your emotional body—and then, then you can change your programs and your beliefs.

If you had difficult relationships in the past and you’d like to heal your emotional body and give yourself a chance to build strong and authentic relationships, forgiveness work is extremely beneficial.

There are so many amazing techniques that can help you to release the emotional charge. If you feel like you need more guidance, feel free to listen to my guided forgiveness meditation that will help you to face and clear your emotions.

I hope this brought you more clarity about how your subconscious really functions and how can you make it work for you, not against you.

Have a blessed week!

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Ieva Nalini  |  Contribution: 575

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