4.4
August 26, 2020

Dear Trauma Brain, Go Easy on Me.

Dear Trauma Brain,

Allow me to introduce myself.
I am you, in a different form—
changing form,
vibrating higher form.

We co-exist in this body,
this beautiful, magnificent skin.
I know you haven’t
always felt safe here.

I know bad things have happened
to you when we let our guard down.
When we weren’t
ready to process the
pain and trauma.

Go easy on me,
and easier on yourself.
I know we are afraid—
sometimes of feeling
all the ways
we don’t want to feel.

But, I want you to know,
we can feel awful things,
and still make it out okay now.

Joy can find us too;
we just need to be open
to receive it.
I’m so proud of you
for opening yourself
to receive love again—
and joy.

I know your
thoughts get heavy,
fast and furious too.
I don’t mean to
frighten you.

New things scare me too.
The unknown isn’t
my comfort zone
either.

But I want you
to know I am safe now.
Thank you for protecting me.

For keeping me safe,
out of harm’s way.
For warning me of
incoming threats
and dangers.

You have worked overtime
to ensure my survival.
To guarantee that my needs
are met.

You have stayed up
in the wee hours
of moonlight, guarding
me vigilantly.

I bet you are so tired
by now.
I want you to know,
I am safe now.
You can rest now.

You can come
off duty.
And know that
you will always
be there when I need.

You are a part of me,
and I of you.
We are connected.
And we can
separate at times,
too.

I am safe now.
I am secure now.
I am protected now.
By life herself.

Trauma brain,
my old friend.
Thank you for saving me
when I couldn’t save myself.

I am alive because
of you.
I can live and love
now.

But I know that still feels
scary to you.
So I’ll take it slow.
And fast sometimes,
when I get excited
about all the things
spinning in the air
around me.

The beauty.
The joy.
The splendor,
And the loss.
The sadness.

It’s okay to grieve
life too.
The passing, fleeting
grief of these forms
dying.
Life is sweet.
And life is loss.

Thank you for
showing me how
to close,
and how to open
again.

I love you.
Thank you for
loving me.
Relax,
sweet soul.

I am free, and
I am loved.
And it is safe to love,
and be me now.

Signed,
The inner child you saved

~

 

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