August 18, 2020

I Won’t Only Burn Bridges—I’ll Set the Boats on Fire, Too.

Most people don’t understand the beauty in setting fire to their relationships.

I burned numerous bridges in my life and each time, I became stronger, wiser, and rose like a phoenix from the ashes of my desperate, people pleasing, codependent, and impulsive former self.

Sometimes, we hold onto friendships that aren’t really friendships, or relationships that don’t really exist anymore.

Do not become anxious to keep that flame alive.

Deep down, we know it was already distinguished—whether it was a slow burn or a quick death.

When we throw that match and burn down the very fabric of what our connection was built on, we force ourselves to never turn back.

It may or may not be conscious, but we’re committing to a path without this person. This path often leads to boundaries, our own sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-love, and tribe.

We all need connections to share, experience joy, to give, and receive love. Friendships in their purest form are an exchange: the divine beauty in me sees the divine beauty in you, even if you do something wrong or something I may not like.

But with the right ones, our soul grows and flourishes.

With the wrong kind, however, we falter and oppress the parts of ourselves that allow us to reach our highest self.

Do not give any more of your attention to certain people and all the vices of your past.

Holding onto a piece of them builds the bridge to bring them back into your present.

I won’t only strike the match and burn the bridge to the ground, but I will also set fire to the boats sitting along the shoreline.

This way they can’t reach me, and I can’t reach back to them.

But this is no easy feat. We have to be willing to not be liked, to be gossiped about, talked down to, and criticized.

But we have to keep going.

They are not a loss.

Throw the embers to the wind, burn those bridges brightly, and torch the boats along the way.

Let them go up in furious flames.

If this means we need to swim to the other side alone, then so be it.

Just know that those flaming walkways are a beacon for others—the ones who are molded in the same kiln as you.

Those who have burned their own bridges and boats looked into their own mirrors and faced their own demons.

They are your kindred on this Earth.

They understand, uplift, and love you for who you are.



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