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September 24, 2020

A (Self) Love Story

We all have our own love language and what we require from one another to feel loved.

Most of my lifetime, I didn’t honor my needs (to feel loved) and neither did any of my relationships. I was living a bunch of lies and never felt truly seen or acknowledged. I felt empty and unfulfilled despite having a fairly  decent life.  This was because I wasn’t true to myself and neither was anyone else. And how could they be? I wasn’t fully aware of my needs or honest with myself about what I truly required to feel loved and I wasn’t insisting for it to be any different.

I basically refused to acknowledge myself. And in doing so, so did everyone else.

I allowed myself to endure much less than I deserve(d) for many years, and as a consequence, my relationships were always half-assed, out-of-balance, and always involving me giving well more than I was receiving.

But something recently has awakened in me, a genuine love and consideration for myself, and its breaking up all my life circumstances which contain that particular dynamic.

I am finally ready to change. I can’t live half-hearted anymore. I’m ready to say what I need to feel loved and see who is willing to meet me there.

And this doesn’t mean that I will force people to do anything for me, it just means I will now do my best to express how I feel even if it means rocking the boat, to share what I require to feel safe and secure in a relationship and be clear about how I best relate to people (so they know how best to interact with me to maintain a connection).

I now commit to doing my part in meeting my own needs and to offer others clear reminders along the way. 

Those who openly receive my “love language” or those who are willing to grow into it will be the only relationships with the genuine potential to last and be fulfilling (given both sides put in same effort).

But otherwise, the relationships that aren’t meant for me will leave.

And I’m finally ready for it to be either way.

If I don’t live true to myself, I can be true to no one. I have to love myself first.

And the best part is, when I love myself, I’ll end up only with those who genuinely love me back (and show me!)

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Brandy Gray  |  Contribution: 2,350