September 9, 2020

An Ode to Borderline Personality Disorder.

I wish therapists knew what I needed.

I wish they knew where I came from.

I wish they could put on my smudged glasses and see the chaotic world I was born into that plays on replay in my mind.

I wish they knew the pathway I took to get here and could understand how it feels to love this hard.

I wish they knew that all I have ever wanted is a mother like Ms. Honey from Matilda, and this is why it hurts to be “abandoned.”

I no longer wish to be silenced or judged as too emotional.

Borderline Personality Disorder has been misunderstood.

It’s time we try to understand it and realize it is not an identity.

I don’t want a diagnosis.
I don’t want to be pathologized.
I don’t want to learn any more DBT or CBT.

I want to tell my story and be heard.
I want out of the cluster B diagnosis box.
I want this to be seen for what it is—developmental trauma.

Maybe it will take my entire life to change the way Borderline Personality Disorder is viewed and classified.

I’m sure it will take my entire life.

It’s okay though. It’s something worth fighting for.



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