September 9, 2020

21 Ways to Trust Again after Childhood Trauma.


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In a world where hardened hearts are common, how do we become warm-hearted and trusting people after years of harm in many disguised forms?

We live in a time where hurt begets hurt, and love and trust are simply words that fall from a dissected language.

Humans are walking around full of anger, resentment, hostility, and entitlement, and wonder why life is not going their way. We need to do better, all of us—even if you believe you’re doing enough.

Relationships of all kinds tear us apart, and our family is no exception. As a child, kids can be cruel and parents can be unforgiving. Teachers can destroy self-esteem. There is an endless list of different types of trauma that each individual encounters in their lifetime, and there are ways in which we can grant ourselves peace from these wounds.

As someone who never felt safe, lovable, accepted, good enough, or worthy, I’ve had to relearn how to live:

I’ve had to learn how to radically accept myself.

I’ve had to learn how to radically accept others for who they are.

I’ve had to put down the martyrdom.

I’ve had to let go of people when they show me the truth of who they are.

I’ve had to take ownership of my own victimhood.

I’ve had to forgive those who harmed and abused me.

I’ve had to treat my body better.

I’ve had to create better boundaries.

I’ve had to create my own business to feel more freedom in life.

I’ve had to talk to my parents about the truth.

I’ve had to read a lot of books.

I’ve had to use Reiki every day.

I’ve had to meditate every day.

I’ve had to open my heart, again and again.

I’ve had to be unapologetic in my authenticity.

I’ve had to use my voice against others.

I’ve had to have voices used against me.

I’ve had to journal and write letters to so many people for emotional release. (I don’t send these letters; I burn them or send them in the mail with no addresses so they get lost in the ethers.)

I’ve had to get creative and consistent in my healing.

I’ve had to be celibate.

I’ve had to remain single.

I’ve had to…

And the list goes on. The work is here and it is constant, but I am not exhausted for I am filling my life with things I enjoy and no longer feel enslaved to the ideas of society or of family interest.

I am free to live my life as me, and for me, and with the knowledge that this is totally acceptable.

What have you had to do to break down the walls life has built up around you? Where can you make more room to let love in?

In a world where we have been told, time and again, that we don’t know better, I encourage you to f*cking know better. To remember that as an individual you have so much power and knowledge, and that with each moment you have an opportunity to love again—even if that love is for yourself.

You are enough, you have always been enough, and you always will be enough.

I love you.

I see you.

I cherish you.

​The world needs your love.


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