2.7
September 28, 2020

Let it Go—Nothing Lasts Forever, not Even a Broken heart.

The universe is forcing me to level up in my life and release people I’m no longer in alignment with.

Within the span of six days, I had to close chapters with three different men.

On Friday, I confronted a difficult conversation with a man with whom I shared a profound connection.

This guy is woven into my Thailand chapter. While we share a relationship built on trust, communication, respect, and a mutual desire to grow, we do not align in our values concerning partnership. He is exploring a path of open connection, and I am only interested in building a life with one person.

We were meant to be spending a few months abroad together, but after taking time to get clear on my expectations and personal beliefs, I decided it was best that we don’t reconnect or speak again for the foreseeable future.

Two days later, I met up with a former partner.

This man has had a significant role in my life, and he’s someone I love deeply. Our journeys went in separate directions after I moved to Florida, but we remained in each other’s lives.

Following our conversation this weekend, I became aware of his new relationship. While we’ve been fortunate to preserve a great friendship (he’s been my best friend for years), it no longer feels in my best interest to maintain our connection.

I had to make the difficult decision to cut off communication and move into a future without him.

These two encounters led me to address another situation earlier today.

Having reflected on the intensity with which I love these two men, I took an objective look at the man I was currently getting to know.

Upon listening to my heart, I felt it wouldn’t be fair to pursue a partnership with him. In honoring the healing that I still need to do, I ended our relationship as well.

I feel like an emotional wreck.

For the past week, I haven’t been able to put energy into my business, nor have I felt inspired to speak, write, or create—I’ve spent hours consumed with grief and uncontrollable tears.

When my emotions finally gave way to exhaustion, I threw myself lifelessly onto my bed as my wretched heart attempted to process the pain.

I recognize that releasing is imperative to growth. These men aren’t a part of my future, yet their emancipation from my heart feels gut-wrenching.

That’s the thing about loving deeply—it’s an experience of pure bliss, vulnerability, and connection. The person becomes so embedded in the fabric of our lives that it seems inconceivable that they aren’t there all along.

Then should we need to liberate ourselves from the relationships that no longer serve us, the unbinding feels like a breath we can’t catch—like someone is forcing our face underwater, and the more we resist, the farther we move from being able to breathe.

Lesson being: relinquish control over how life turns out.

My logical mind has always known that these men have been nothing but chapters in my life.

My heart is far less sensible. It’s been too busy falling, loving their imperfections, and gracefully weaving them into the story. My heart’s ability to deeply connect and profoundly give of itself means that oftentimes, it hasn’t paused to consider whether it’s a good idea or not.

But as the saying goes, “When one door closes, another opens.”

We can’t experience the love, connection, and closeness meant for us if we get attached to old stories, wounds, and people.

When we cling to the memory of what was, we send a message to the universe that we’re not interested in the beauty of what could be.

The more we release, the more we allow.

Letting go feels painful, yet it also feels like a weight has been lifted—like we’ve finally dislodged the rock that we’d swallowed.

The farther we walk along the path of healing, the more grace and love we will experience, as we connect with people who can meet us where we’re going.

Expand your heart to the limitless connections available to you.

Love with authenticity.

Breathe into the sadness, and allow it to move through you.

Love is healing.

Love is transformative.

Love is unconditional.

Wait for a love that aligns with your truest version—we all deserve to be desperately happy, fulfilled, and complete.

To love others, we must first love ourselves.

Cultivate joy from within. Don’t place your worth in someone else’s hands, nor demand that they make you happy—only you can do that.

When you foster a generative relationship with yourself, you create space to experience that with another person.

Until then, be gentle with your heart.

Breathe into discomfort, and align with what you truly deserve.

Just like I am having to do in this moment, acknowledge when something isn’t working.

Love yourself enough to release what no longer serves you.

Honor the pain and move through it.

Nothing lasts forever—not even a broken heart.

~

 

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