September 2, 2020

A Tender Little Trick for Getting through Hard Stuff.

It seems that all over the internet, there are articles and tips to help you live your best life.

“3 Things to Do Every Morning to Feel Better” or “Do These 5 Things to Make Your Day More Productive.”

The list goes on and on—more things to do, things not to do, ways to change, and tips to feel better, act better, think better, be better.

But maybe we are in information overload. Maybe that’s what got us to feeling overwhelmed and in need of all these tips in the first place.

The truth is that maybe this is just where we need to be right now: in the discomfort—feeling it, allowing it to wash over us and through us like a river at peak season after all the snow has melted.

We keep trying to think about what to do, but maybe no amount of thinking or action will solve anything. Maybe, just maybe, we need to start allowing.

As we move forth through our human experience, we will experience pain and discomfort without a doubt. There is no getting around it, and it will occur even if we think we have things figured out.

Sometimes, we’ll have a socially acceptable reason for feeling a negative emotion—like death or a big breakup. But sometimes we won’t. We might not even really understand why it is we are feeling this way. It could be that there was a multitude of little reasons that built up over time.

“I believe burnout happens in the margins.” ~ Cory Muscara

It seems, for the most part, as though we endure a small number of stresses sustained over time, and each one on its own is manageable—we can handle it. So we carry on, thinking and believing that all is reasonably well. Yet months or years later, we wake up suddenly one day feeling completely anxiety-ridden, stressed, or depressed. We feel utterly exhausted. We feel as though we’ve missed the boat on fulfillment in life. Or, when we think of our lives relative to everything we dreamt of for ourselves when we were younger, we feel like complete failures. And we don’t know what to do.

Maybe the key lies in completely accepting the not knowing and surrendering to the feelings first. Maybe we need to pause, truly pause, and let go. Even if that means putting down the dinner prep you’re doing for your kids and just sitting quietly and crying. Anything to give yourself a bit of space to truly feel will do.

When we reach points like these, whether we understand what’s going on or not, it’s time to trust. Trust the feelings. Trust ourselves. Trust that we don’t have to know why to surrender.

We have to lose to grow. The only way to gain more spiritual understanding is first to release everything we thought we knew. And everything we thought we were and wanted to be. There must be a whole and complete loss of the old to pave the way for something new to emerge.

And this something new is going to be something softer, wiser, more beautiful and joyful. This newer you will be a deeper you. A more profound version of who you once were because you dared to fall so that she could rise.

And so the only tip here is to stop reading about all the tips for a change.

The tips have their place—sometimes. But in this instance, the truth lies within you and your willingness to sit with yourself. It lies in your willingness to be honest about your feelings and have the courage to feel those feelings fully.

This process will get you back to your centre.

From there, you’ll be ready and open to the right information on how to proceed.


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