Dear Future Self
I fully honour & accept my journey. You are exactly where you are meant to be everything is happening for you in perfect timing even when it does not make sense.
I know you resist accepting parts of yourself because you are scared. You are scared you will lose connection from those that love or accept you, but remember true connection you can never lose. It stays at your worst & best. Know that resisting parts of you will only stop you & make life against you in a fear based why me? Instead of for you in a love base living the depths of joy life that is for you to expand you.
I am motivated by pain & fear because if I say yes to everyone else, maybe I can bring joy to their worlds. But I am learning when I say yes to the world & not me I make my world dark & the joy & light I want to bring to the world I cannot shine. I am motivated to accept & honor all parts of me these days so I do not knock on deaths door before my time with my own darkness again. Now I honor each breath for me to know that it is for expansion & growth of better tomorrows.
My heart right now is desiring a world of people walking side by side in their pain without hurting each other. Instead witnessing themselves so they can heal. I know I can’t create this world by changing everyone. I know it must start with me. I desire this world to begin with me so my daughter will never know the pain & suffering of judgment, misappropriation, projection & hurt people hurting people to extent I have done. So my daughter will not take on others pain as her story & she has a chance to make her own story. So my daughter knows her body is her tool for life & not something she has to mould, shape & cover to be loved or accepted or worthy. So that she can be loved as she is & was the way she was born, as the miracle she is everyday without the thought she needs to fix anything, only nourish everything to create the life she dreamed. So she has the power to make her world a beautiful place no matter what life throws at her. So she knows there is always hope that she can hold in her heart. That faith for love even when we can’t touch & see it she know it’s there.