5.5
November 26, 2020

I Love You—But, I Can’t Save You.

I can’t take it all on.

I can’t absorb your pain.

I can love you; I can pray for you; I can lend my support, but it takes too much to try to fix all these problems and take them on as my own.

I need to know where I end and you begin.
Enmeshment isn’t working for my tired soul.

I don’t have the patience, time, or emotional energy to save you.

I need to let you go.
I need to say goodbye.
I need to take care of myself and my needs. 

I will hold myself accountable for my needs, hopes, dreams, and desires.
I will check in on my mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

I will put myself first. 

I can not do for you what I can’t do for myself.
I must put on my own oxygen mask.

I am drowning.
And your trivial stories are burying me alive.

I hope you get what you need.
I hope the decisions you make for your life are ones that will make you happy.

I’ve learned that I’m not in control of what you do, or do not do.
I’ve learned I am not in control of your happiness or your sadness.

I wish I could turn this around for you, but I can’t.
Only you can. 

I wish you the best, but this is goodbye.

~

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