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November 19, 2020

What if I’m not Good Enough?—How to Overcome this Painful Mantra from our Childhood.

So often, I hear my amazing individuals, readers, those who become my amazing clients ask: What if I’m not good enough?

It could be in a conversation about starting a business, going on a date, leaving the job they’ve had for a few decades to do something new that lights them up.

The what doesn’t matter.

What does matter is this common thread, theme, way of thinking about ourselves, naturally, that is the true pandemic of our time.

What if I am not enough?

Imagine if your children, grandchildren, the child down the street never ever asked that question of him or herself.

Because this is not a gender-specific question, but one that penetrates the lives of all colors, all creeds, all religions, all social circles, all socioeconomic demographics, and spreads like a virus internally faster than 5G WiFi.

What if I’m not good enough? Take a beat and get quiet with your fabulous self. Has this been a thought in your mind?

A repetitive belief question that demands your attention stronger than a siren’s call on a rocky shore? For most, that is a yes, and it’s the one thing in life that keeps them from their dreams. And for some, this one repetitive thought keeps them from even dreaming. Period. Because why bother?!

Imagine if it didn’t have to be this way—because it doesn’t. But before we chat on that, let’s dive into what this is costing you if you can relate to that little whisper inside.

What if I’m not enough?

What specifically do you not dream up, start, do in your life because this question plays on repeat in your head?

If you’re like so many, you start something—a new project, passion, job, or maybe even a new relationship with excitement—with so much joy that you skip all over as you move toward it.

And then something shifts. It could be triggered by a sideways look or a comment tossed out by someone who matters a lot, or not. Suddenly, your skipping is tripped up by the sinking pit in your gut.

What if I’m not good enough?

Now when you glance around,
the sun still shining bright,
You feel the eyes of others

Eyes that could be

If you’re like so many, you become paralyzed by fear.
And those mudslide thoughts begin.

Not good enough.
What if I fail?
What will they think?

You may even wonder if that random guy reading the newspaper at a local cafe, the older man you pass by every day, is judging you as you hurry on, shoulders hunched, head down.

Just that one thought of, “What if I’m not good enough,” can send off a chain reaction that yanks you back.

Halts your skip
Tanks your mood
Allows you to sabotage any success you were about to enjoy.

When you allow that thought—”what if I’m not good enough?”—to take up residence in your mind, it travels the superhighway of you to penetrate each cell of your body, and doesn’t just have a devastating effect on your mood, your actions today, but compounds over time—as, perhaps, you already feel and know intimately.

For so many of us—”what if I’m not good enough?”—started as a mantra in childhood and has been a repetitive pattern that allowed the go-cart of life to become a start-stop madness that’s kept us from the very things we said we wanted.

Now is the time to say enough!
To stop this insanity
To park that go-cart of you in the kiddie lane of your past
And build a new ship forward.

Imagine what would be possible if you pushed aside that thought—”What if I’m not good enough?”—as easily as windshield wipers cleared away torrential rain.

What would be possible if you could see your path cleared, brilliantly, with the snap of your fingers, so you could continue to skip down your day of excitement?

To dream big.
To live with joy.
To see the stares of others and no longer care what’s behind them.

Imagine being so free to be you that the thought—”What if I’m not enough?”—never again took shape in you. Never again was whispered by that voice within you. Never was passed to your child, grandchild, neighbor’s child again.

What would be possible if you lived every single day knowing this one fact?

I am enough—read that again, as it’s delicious.

And when you’re ready for the way to make this possibility yours, all you have to do is flip the switch off you.

One step.
So simple, we miss it.
We desperately want to complicate it.
To make it hard.


When you hear that thought—”What if I’m not enough?” Or “What if I’m not good enough?”—Flip it. What if you are?

Your mind shouts (or whispers)—“What If I’m not enough?”—and your new answer, yep.Start answering it with a thought or a whisper of your own, so it can become your new mantra: What if I am?

What if I am?

And feel how that makes you feel—try it now. Close your eyes, take in a breath, and whisper those words—What if I am enough?

Perhaps you feel nothing in this moment. Perhaps an internal brightening—a smile from within. Both are perfect. Stay with it.

What if I am enough?—Or make it even more specific—what if I am good enough?

That is all you say on the daily, hourly—every minute.

As that voice flows in, “What if I’m not enough,” relax and flow out with—”what if I am enough?”

When you do this as religiously as brushing your teeth, the very ground under you will shift, your life will change, and more joy, possibilities, and abundance will be yours.

Skipping through your day with a mile-wide, joyful smile will be your new, constant norm. And who doesn’t want that?

If you know you have nothing to lose and so much to gain, put this into practice today. It’s literally life-changing when you do, but you’re smart—so I’ll let you figure out for yourself just how powerful this one flip is—and how it will bring you joy.

If this resonated, share this message with another who you feel it could benefit, because we could all use more joy in our lives.


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