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January 10, 2021

Overcoming our Ego: How to Break up with Toxic & Limiting Beliefs.

Hi friends. How are you doing, like really doing?

If you’re anything like me, you are probably experiencing a wide range of emotions from last year.

It feels so strange that we are in a new year. I feel like my concept of time has significantly changed. Even though there’s a whole lot of uncertainty, I am feeling excited.

I’m excited for a new year, not because I think things will magically be different in 2021. But a new year is always such a big shift and a time to reset.

While the outside world may still continue to be this way for a while, I am excited to take some rest and celebrate the holidays—take some time to recharge and start fresh. I hope you are doing the same.

I think the thing I am most excited for is that I am finally ready to tackle some big limiting beliefs. I know this is something that most humans struggle with. It’s quite normal to feel some sort of fear or uncertainty about a new situation.

But some of these limiting beliefs are so ingrained in us that they actually hold us back for years, repeating the same pattern that keeps us from growing.

Here are some common limiting beliefs:

>> I’m not going to even try at this because I will fail.

>> People will judge me if I put myself out there.

>> I’m not worthy of success.

>> Who am I to be a leader to others?

>> I’ll never get out of my current situation; I am stuck forever.

>> I am not getting any closer to my dreams, so I will just stop now.

In my experience, I have found that these type of limiting thoughts get the loudest when we are looking to make a change.

Even just the early thoughts of us wanting to try something is enough for the ego to stop us. The ego’s job is to keep us safe, regardless of whether something is dangerous or not.

All the ego knows is that we are embarking on a new journey, which must mean there will be threats. So those limiting beliefs are there to keep us in the same place.

But let’s take a second to pause and really think about this concept.

We are not our thoughts—we are just the thinker of them.

Take a second to let that sink in. Thoughts are just things like anything else in our universe. They pass and go as they please. So why do we let them dictate our entire lives? Surely, we need our ego to protect us from running out into the street or tell us to steer clear of that dark alley at night.

But when it comes to making a change for the better, we simply do not need these thoughts to protect us. In fact, they do the opposite.

I have had a lifetime of experience with these kinds of thoughts. My upcoming project will be shedding light on my story.

I have found that these thoughts are the loudest when they deal with something that I really care about—whether it’s finding love, getting healthy, starting a creative hobby, or even just wanting more confidence.

Think about your own situation now: what is a change you are looking to make but feeling a lot of resistance toward?

Let’s say you are wanting to find a new job but have not had any luck, and you are starting to lose hope. These limiting beliefs are practically screaming at you.

You may think, “I will never find something new” or “I don’t have any good experience” or “I have been at my current job way too long, and I can’t make the change now.”

And your pattern may look like this: apply for a couple of jobs and maybe get an interview, you don’t hear back from anyone, and you have gotten several rejection letters. Your excitement is starting to fade as reality sets in. You feel stupid for even trying it, and you go back to your old ways.

Even though you are not happy, you decide that this is your destiny, so you choose to ignore any idea of starting something new—you’ll just be disappointed.

But if we think back to our earlier revelation, these thoughts are not our reality; they are just things. We are just the thinker of them.

So when we fill ourselves with limiting thoughts and lose hope, our actual reality will line up with it; thus, keeping us in the cycle forever.

While this may sound like we are destined to always be in the same spot, I am here to tell you things can be different.

We can start to think of opportunity and abundance, instead of lack and fear. We can make the change we’ve always wanted to make. We absolutely can make a new reality for ourselves.

So how do we get there? How do we choose to think new thoughts and finally put an end to the old ones?

The secret lies in a practice called reframing.

Reframing the limiting beliefs from ones that stop us to ones that empower us: from lack to abundance, from fear to hope.

Let’s go back to our example of finding a new job and start to reframe those disempowering thoughts.

Old thought: I will never find something new.

New thought: I am in the process of change, and the new job will come at the perfect time.

Old thought: I don’t have any good experience.

New thought: I have the exact experience I need for my next opportunity.

Old thought: I have been at my current job way too long.

New thought: I have spent years gaining knowledge and needed skills, I am more than ready for what is next.

See how much better those new thoughts feel? How much would our mindset change if we had these kinds of thoughts before an interview or hitting “send” on an application?

The trick is to keep saying these new thoughts to ourselves until they are ingrained in us. Even if we don’t see physical evidence of this new thought process, just know that it is coming.

We are shaping our mind to a new way of living and thinking. Just like those old thoughts that were with us so long, it’s time to say hello to some new ones. Carry those around until they are natural.

So tell me, which limiting thoughts are you ready to break up with?

~

 

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