February 10, 2021

What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.

My Valentine wish.

It is so easy for us to get caught up in the commercialization of Valentine’s Day.

Flowers, candy, and cards filled with words that give our feelings a voice. 

Restaurant reservations are a must.

All kinds of expensive add-ons suddenly appear on the menu—from rose placement on the table to musicians to serenade you with songs of love or a high-priced bottle of champagne to toast your love.

If that pops your cork, then, by all means, make the most of it.

But for some of us, it is just another day that falls on the calendar. One by which we draw a heart or place an X and an O.

At the beginning of a relationship, I think it is safe to say that we all expect the day acknowledged.

Whether with a simple card, a single rose, or a small box of chocolates, we long for the person we love to, at minimum, show us that we are important to them.

Even if they show it every other day, in every other way. 

Yet as our love matures and reality takes precedence, we may come to realize that the love we share with another is so much more than the commercialized holiday Valentine’s Day has become.

We may recognize that it is not about an external display of expected romance, but the day-to-day love that is shared so freely and demonstrated via good morning, mid-day hello, and good night texts. It is that call to say, “Hi.”

It is the offer to break down holiday decorations and to pick up milk on the way to your place.

It is the person who sweetly and kindly disagrees when you say you are currently “fat” according to your standard.

The truth is, maybe they do love you inside and out—and maybe you should, too.

As I was in the throes of getting my Valentine’s Day greetings in order, I vehemently stated to my partner, “Do not get me flowers.” I had said it before and said it again.

The first time, I got an acknowledgment that would have made a cousin happy (which sparked the conversation).

The second time, there were insults toward his efforts against my requests.

The third time, it was taken as an assault against my desires. 

Will we meet in the middle this year?

“Valentine’s Day is coming. Don’t send me flowers. Please. They die. They’re messy and an easy, thoughtless gift to fulfill an obligation. I’m happy with you, every day. Please trust in that.”

If you want to bring, give, or send flowers, let it be on some random day during a month when it is not commercially expected—maybe June 5th, for no reason at all other than to brighten my day. (And make it daisies.)

If you want to share your thoughts, let it be on a card one day in the middle of some month when it is not commercially expected—maybe October 2nd, for no reason at all other than to brighten my day.

And if you want to plan a night or weekend away filled with roses, musicians, and a bottle of champagne, let it be some random weekend when there is no commercial affiliation—maybe September, October, or November. Just because.

That’s my Valentine’s Day wish, any day—every day.

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