March 29, 2021

10 Questions to Ask Ourselves when we Feel Jealous.


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“Jealousy is a map. Each of our jealousy maps differs.” ~ Julia Cameron


Being jealous is a part of being human.

I believe every reaction has value because it is helping us notice where we are not being authentic with ourselves. If there is something causing jealously, this is information we can use to peel back another layer of self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

When we feel jealous, it’s important to allow ourselves to sit with it and ask it what it wants. Why is it showing up? What is it really about? How can we use it to become more informed about what we want?

When we get curious about our reactions and feelings versus chastising ourselves, we open up to discovery and purpose. We uncover gifts or questions or desires that weren’t obvious before.

We take back our power and become brave.

Below are 10 questions to ask when jealously arises:

1. Why am I jealous—what is being triggered? (get specific)

2. Is this jealously founded or am I assuming something about the situation? What are the facts?

3. What part of myself or my life am I not honoring or acknowledging?

4. What am I not allowing myself to have or giving myself permission to be?

5. What part of me feels insecure, invisible, or underappreciated?

6. What am I longing to do, be, or have? What is stopping me?

7. How can I become inspired by these jealous feelings? How can I turn it around and create something?

8. Where does this jealously live in my body?

9. If I wasn’t jealous of this person/situation/circumstance, what would that feel like? Can I create joy or peace instead?

10. What three small actions can I take to feel better about myself and my situation right now?


Another insightful read on the topic: How Comparison is a Superpower—& Not the Thief of Joy.


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