True love is something each one of us dreams about, whether we admit it or not.
It is the main reason we move on every day with our lives, and it is what powers our internal engine; the quest for it makes life an amazing trip.
Still, we get lost in what we see and hear every day from the moment we’re born, “Men provide, and women are just beautiful,” or, “Be yourself—an independent woman with a career—as true love doesn’t really exist. Biochemically, it’s no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.”
From Hollywood movies to prized authors, from famous, sad love songs on YouTube to fake love on Instagram and Facebook, everything makes us truly confused. But the heart…the heart always knows the truth. That true love exists, and we deserve to be happy.
I will share with you how I cracked the code, simply by trusting my heart and my gut that true love exists, and nobody’s happy if we, ourselves, are not happy.
Step One: Know Yourself
The first step is quite easy: we need to stop the world around us from telling us what we like, what we want (or should want), how we should feel, who we should like or dislike, what we should do with our lives, who we should marry, how many kids we should have, how to dress, and so on.
No one knows us better than we do. And we already know the answers to all the above. We just don’t think that our opinion matters. Well, it does. Maybe not always to the ones in front of us but definitely to our hearts.
Begin by admitting inside what truly matters to you. Have a one-on-one talk with yourself about the important matters in life, write them down, and discover what you think about each of them.
Step Two: Accept and Love Yourself
Once we know what we want, the next step is really important. Remember, this is a heart-to-heart talk, and the brain should not be invited. So, no “what ifs,” no “this is insane,” no “everyone will laugh at me.”
We live now, not in the future. Let tomorrow come and see what it brings. We’re not God or an almighty oracle, so let the future be a mystery. Enjoy it!
What we feel inside is not wrong. Accept yourself and what you feel and what truly makes you happy no matter what others say. They are responsible for their lives—not yours.
Once you accept yourself, start loving it—every small thing that is you, enjoy it to the fullest. You will see your transformation immediately; a big smile will appear on your face when you see the reaction of others. And then (this is my favorite part), people will respond to it incredibly well. Everyone loves authenticity and joy, and positively reacts to it.
Step Three: Follow your Heart
We are now in a happier place than before, proud of who we are, and therefore, we can now start enjoying life and people in general.
The heart is again the key to unlock the veils that prevent us from finding our true love.
Make a list of all the activities that fill your heart with love and joy. Maybe you enjoy yoga, martial arts, dancing, reading, or sharing with others. Whatever you like to do, start doing it and develop more and more your passions.
Step Four: Stop Searching for the Right One
God is funny: the more we yearn and focus on getting something, the harder it gets. Therefore, we need to let go of the thought that we need someone in our lives for us to feel complete or that we will never find true love and die alone.
Just think that whatever comes, whatever your destiny is, just enjoy the ride. If you feel that you have too much love and you need to give it to someone, first give it to you, and when your cup is full, trust me, there are a lot of people around us who would be more than happy to receive our love and care.
If you feel lonely, just follow your heart and your passions. When you are with people who share your passions, whoever they are, you will not feel alone.
Enjoy the presence of children, as they have immense energy, love, and drive that will overwhelm you and motivate you to change the world and make it a happier and safer place.
Be funny, do stupid things, and laugh as much as you can. Be surrounded by people who make you laugh.
Step Five: Your True Love is Knocking on your Door, and Now You are Ready to See
Do you remember the TV commercial with the lonely and unhappy guy who says that when you’re with someone, all women want you, but when you’re alone, no woman wants to be with you? It is like having written on your forehead, “I’m desperate.”
It’s the same here. Happiness attracts happiness, and once you manage to drive yourself in this mindset of joy and gratefulness toward everything good that has happened to you and when you see your own life as a great adventure, the right one for you will be right next to you.
There’s an old story about a wise man who lived on a mountain. And one day, a person came to him asking him, “Oh, wise one, I want to be as wise as you are. Can you teach me?” The wise man took this person to the river and pushed his head under water and kept it there until the person almost drowned and then pulled him out. When the person could catch his breath again, the wise man told him, “When you want wisdom as much as you have just wanted air, then you will begin to find wisdom.”
This story has been a great compass for me, as I almost drowned in the Danube to the things that are really important in life.