April 24, 2021

To the Next Man I would Love: This is what I want from You.

So we were talking last night and you got me thinking.

I don’t have an objective mind when it comes to you. But when I do have an occasion to think objectively, I know that if I ever had another man in my life, my standards for myself would be high.

I already told you this—that you probably wouldn’t meet those standards, and you loved it. You laughed and asked me what those standards were, which is what got me thinking.

I love that you loved my statement because I knew you were concerned. But a part of me hates that you loved it—the part of me that wants you to want to be the man who meets those standards.


But back to the man I want, if I could ever want another man.

I have to say the body would be a bonus. I have never been with a man who had muscles or a six-pack. I’m just saying, it would be a bonus.

But what really matters? I do know. Maybe, a sense of humor? I have always been attracted to a sense of humor. That is why I fell in love with you. So it’s important that he would make me laugh, even when life has shown me that there can be demons behind laughing eyes.

What else? I want to respect him, but I want him to respect me in return. I want him to get to know me, and the more he gets to know me, the more he loves and respects me.

I have a bright mind, I know this, and I want him to know it and to respect it too. I want him to respect that I know some things, and he knows some other things—and we would both respect each other for the things we know, and love each other for our differences.

There are too many times in my life when I was made to feel stupid or opinionated for having an opinion, or for knowing some stuff. I never want to feel that way again.

I want him to love the world, just like I do, or rather love the people in the world, especially children. This includes my children, my nieces, my nephews, and all the other children and young people.

It would be imperative that he accepts all people as they were—that he does not judge them for the color of their skin, or their sexuality, or their jobs, or their cultures, or their religion.

And he would have to be kind; he would have to love people and be able to show it, so that if the whole world didn’t know, I still knew that he had a kind, accepting, and loving heart.

I definitely don’t want him to be a workaholic; I want him to spend time with me. I want him to work if he has to work, but I want him to want to be with me more than he wants to be at work.

And music would be important. I would love him to learn how to dance with me. I want us to go to a dancing class, I want him to sing with me, and I want to learn the songs he loves and want him to learn the songs I love—I want us to sing together. And if he could play the guitar, that would be a bigger bonus.

Oh, and he most definitely must not be a Trump supporter.

I would love it if he read books, or at least tried to read the books I loved to read.

I would love us to walk to the beautiful castle by the river. I wouldn’t want him to be ashamed to hold my hands or to kiss me in public, but to walk hand in hand. Sometimes in complete silence, just listening to the birds and the river, or watching the trees and the robins, other times, chattering till our jaws are sore, talking about everything that matters to us, and wanting to get to know everything about each other. And walking even more.

Oh, and I would love it if he would cook for me. Sometimes, I would cook but other times, he would. And I wouldn’t want him to take me for granted. So if he worked and I worked, then we both came home, I would take care of him, and he would take care of me—and we would both take care of our home, in equal measures, without anyone owing favors to the other.

I want him to be confident in himself, so that he’s never threatened by me, feels inferior, and understands that whatever I say to him is never meant to put him down. I want him to be invested in my spiritual growth, just as I would be invested in his.

But most of all, I want him to want me. I want him, but he would have to want me more. I want to chase him, but he would have to chase me more. I want to go to the other side of the world for him, but he would have to go even further.

I would love him, but he would have to love me more.

And that’s exactly why you wouldn’t qualify. Because you don’t love me, but I love you.


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