“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.” ~ Christine Caine
Tragedy hits or some set of circumstances that seem to redefine your life and well-being happen.
We are not only starting over, we’re salvaging what’s left. It’s not over, yet. Our story has another chapter. We just have to turn the page.
When we are ready, we start building from rock bottom.
Our pain is valid, and our life has value.
When we have to start again, we will do so because of the power we have to turn our lives around.
We can rise again. Think of it as a comeback.
“A setback is a setup for a comeback.” ~ Willie Jolley
5 Ways to Build Yourself up from Rock Bottom:
1. You don’t have to solve it all in one day.
We may think we’re supposed to be perfect. But we’re not. We’re allowed to have struggles and mistakes and yearnings for more. We’re allowed to be human. When we realize this, we don’t have to solve it all in one day.
People rise or fall based on a few factors like chance or luck, but most of all, whether or not we have resilient thinking. Resilience means to be ready for what is to come. Use this time to reflect. Sit with your feelings.
It may seem like the road ahead is never-ending. That’s why it’s about one step at a time. We don’t have to figure it all out at once.
Take one goal, one day at a time. This will help us get our footing.
Maybe one day we’ll decide to just show up. Maybe others of us will participate. And then we will find that at rock bottom, we still have what it takes to rise.
If your goal is to become better, start by noticing the simple things in life.
2. Forgive yourself for the past
If we knew then what we know now, things may have gone a different way. But that’s not how life works. There is no rewind button. We have to be gentle with ourselves.
What would you tell your best friend if this happened to them? Is it over for them? No, they, too, can start over. We could all use a little kindness to ourselves. Treat yourself like you would your best friend. Be gentle. Forgive.
Let’s see how far we’ve come, not how far we’ve got to go.
Let’s be gentle with ourselves.
Let’s see what amends we can make with others if we choose.
Let’s not destroy what’s left by refusing to see our potential and only our problems.
One day, we can be free from the pain of what we’re going through, but that starts with forgiving ourselves for any mistakes we made along the way.
If it was up to us, we would start over. Rather than go back in the past, start over today by realizing we’re not the same person we were in the past. We have scars, but also stories. We have trials but also triumphs. We are not defined by anything we’ve gone through, but how we used it and started over.
Sometimes, we have to start over many times.
Be gentle with yourself along the way. By being gentle, we can assure we don’t make the same mistakes and we forgive what needs to be forgiven. The past doesn’t have to be all of who we are. It’s right here, right now that defines us next.
3. Find meaning.
It may take a lot to turn it all around, but what we can do is find meaning in it. Use it to be kinder. Use it to be more forgiving. Rather than changing everything around us, let’s change ourselves. That way, we have something to show for it all.
The damage may be done. We are not the same person anymore, but we can still heal ourselves and others by taking steps for the greater good. We don’t know how our voice can be perceived until we use it.
We still have worth.
Comparing ourselves to others will not help in this situation. Fighting for what’s right and what belongs to us is all we can do. People say, “live with no regrets” for a reason. Do everything you can with what you have been given, even if you’ve fallen into misfortune.
There’s always a way through—by living our life with intention.
We don’t need others to define us. The meaning that we make matters. It could change someone’s life or be used for a cause.
People will try to take the best from us. They will want us to stumble rather than stand. But, when we choose to stand, we’re proving to them, and most of all, ourselves, that we can rise again. We don’t need to solve every problem. We don’t need to apologize for who we are. We just need to take this moment and see what we can use to learn.
That meaning will lead to a breakthrough, maybe of complete surrender.
And that is why we must keep going. We never know how our life may help others going through what we are building from now.
4. Change what you can.
Life is short. It all goes by in the blink of an eye.
But there’s still something we can do about it to find success and make our way.
Live for the right reasons, love with all your heart. Use what you have. Make meaning. Find some wisdom from the circumstances to thrive on.
Change what you can.
We may not see ourselves as a hero, but we are saving ourselves. We, therefore, are saving others watching, waiting, or needing some inspiration for their own struggles or journeys.
We can be the one who says their pain is valid. We can be the ones to listen.
But do not burden yourself trying to change or fix it all. We are only human. We can only be responsible for so much. So, if you’re feeling tired, rest until you can gather momentum. We will win if we want it bad enough.
But even then, what has happened to us, and others, may not be our fault.
It doesn’t mean that we should settle by only changing what we can—it means our focus is greater on fewer things, so we can solve much more.
People change all the time, but we have a choice in how that happens for us. If we change, it’s because our values change. We’ve learned a little more. We know what it takes.
You change what you can, but don’t burden yourself by trying to make everything right.
We can only do so much.
5. Get out there again.
Whatever is missing, whatever has been done, it’s up to us to get out there again. Show up. It’s up to us to apologize for our mistakes. It’s up to us to forgive ourselves for the past. It’s up to us to love others as we want to be loved. It’s up to us to live for good things.
Maybe there are some blessings in disguises. We never know. This could be our actual road—the detour. Maybe from here, we will get to a better destination than originally intended.
We can work it out to the best of our ability, but some things have no clear answers. It’s about trusting in ourselves.
Do you want to be more patient? More understanding? More loving? Then, decide how. It is up to us to trial and error the way we want to be and how we want to be known as. It’s up to us to start fresh, to start over.
We are the only ones who have the power to change our lives.