June 29, 2021

Consent & Intuition: my “Yes” is Mine to Give, not Yours to Take.



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Having sex used to be another chore I checked off of my weekly to-do list.

Women do this every day. We give away our sex to make men feel better. Sex becomes a duty.

It’s bullsh*t. All of it.

Our pleasure is not a prize for their ego.

When we don’t listen to our inner voice saying “no,” this is what happens: we lose our presence, we harden, and we tune the f*ck out.

Yet we are beautiful, feeling creatures. We are born this way. We are the feminine with cycles of yearning and cycles of going within.

It’s time to stop saying yes when our bodies are saying no.

This applies to everything, not just sex. But we know this, we already know.

I’ve had my no silenced, and I’ve had my no violated. These are traumas we carry.

It’s also time to stop being around people who won’t honor our no. Sexual trauma occurs when someone violates our no by stealing our yes.

Yet, I am a sensual woman. I feel everything—the softness of cool sheets on my skin and the warmth of the summer air. I am in love with water because I am in complete sensation and bliss.

I am pure innocence and I am pure wild.

But, to get to this place took healing. And, it took listening deeply to my body and heart.

And sometimes, that trauma still makes its presence known in my breath, in my heart, and in my hips.

So, to fully say “yes” I need to feel safe.

My yes is beautiful and open and alive and feeling and present.

I don’t have to explain my no to anyone.

I don’t have to apologize for my no.

I don’t need permission for my no.

My yes is a warm, loving, soft light.

My yes is playful and feminine and gorgeous.

My yes is mine. It is not currency to be bartered with. I choose who I give it to.

They will not manipulate me into yes.

They will not lie their way into my yes.

They will not guilt or shame me into my yes.

My body will sense them. My intuition is my f*cking superpower. They will be shown the door.

My yes needs to be earned. They cannot and will not force their way in.

If they can’t honor my “no,” they aren’t invited to my “yes.”


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