June 8, 2021

Healing the Fears that Men have Around their Sexuality.

Something struck me recently with quite a deep impact.

It’s easy for me to talk about the fears that many men have around their sexuality, about the sexual problems they have, and the impact these have on their emotional state, their relationships, and lives.

As a man, it’s easy for me to talk about how confusing sexuality is for so many men.

How strong the energy and chemicals in their bodies are at times, without much understanding of these processes and the impact they have on them.

How few strong, clear, sexual role models there are for men, who are in their masculinity, in their power, in their strength, in their clarity, in their stillness, in their solidity.

How much sexual pressure there is on men to perform, achieve, be skillful, knowledgeable, sensitive, with almost no education of pleasure, of themselves, of their partner.

How much fear and judgement there is about their bodies, about their genitals.

How few men have a connection, a relationship with their bodies and their genitals that includes emotions.

How little understanding there is of what women want sexually, sensually, and emotionally.

How hard it is for men to find a forum for honest, open sharing with acceptance.

How little knowledge there is of sexual energy, of pleasure possibilities, of the different expressions of sexuality and relationships.

How many men are trapped in the perspective that vulnerability is a weakness, and how so few of these problems can be acknowledged and shared.

How many men, with widespread mainstream media support, believe in the porn model of sexuality.

How terrifying it is for a man to acknowledge these issues and be seen and judged as being less of a man.

How many men hide behind bravado and bluster.

How disconnected so many men are emotionally and physically without even being aware of it.

What struck me was that it’s become too easy to talk about the fears around these issues without acknowledging how much fear there is in so many men, how difficult it is for them to take a step to heal, grow, and learn—what deep internal conflict this creates.

And in this, I acknowledge every man who does, in whatever way he does it, his inner work.

And I celebrate every man who comes to do his work, with me, with every other practitioner.

And it’s vital to create—and keep creating—the spaces, the workshops, the experiences that make this work possible.

It’s one of the most powerful ways we have of changing our world.



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