I’ve been teaching, exploring, and experiencing the wonderful and limitless worlds of sensuality and sexuality for over 25 years.
In this time, there is something I’ve seen so often and more so at the moment. So many women have such a powerful, deep, strong, wild, fiery sexuality.
So many women have had glimpses, seen, and experienced this in some way and have suppressed it, hidden it, repressed it, and not allowed its expression. There’s fear, guilt, shame, and embarrassment.
There’s a society that judges and suppresses female sexuality and its power. There’s a society that fears female sexuality and its power. There’s a society that fears the yoni, its beauty, mystery, and power.
Beyond society is us—men and women—living life.
The patterning and conditioning of this society run deep within us. And so much of what we do comes from these patterns, beliefs, subconscious that we have. Part of this pattern—a big part of what keeps us in the pattern—is education.
We get little, if any, education for pleasure. The education we get for sex is mostly fear-based. How not to get pregnant, how not to get someone else pregnant, how not to get STIs and HIV. Not much about pleasure.
We get a little biology and not much about pleasure.
Not much about the possibilities of pleasure, not much about the freedom that pleasure brings, not much about the power of pleasure, and not much about the power of women and female sexuality.
Not much about the range of desire women have. Not much about how strong the fire to experience is. Not much about how much pleasure women can experience. Not much about how wild and free the spirit of sexuality is in women. Not much about how sacred sexuality is for women.
As well as having a lack of proper sex education, the role models we do have in our culture are largely based on porn (and for want of a better expression: Hollywood). By this I mean the media, movies, and so much of social media. It’s about illusion, expectation and repression, suppression, ignorance, and fear.
There’s a big social picture in this that runs deep, and there’s a personal element that’s about every one of us.
Over time I’ve seen when a woman can surrender to her sexuality, the awakening can happen.
Here’s what a woman on a journey of sexual consciousness shared:
“I speak for many women when I say that I desire to reclaim my divine feminine, which requires complete surrender and receptivity. But it’s not possible unless I feel completely safe with the divine masculine of my partner.”
We’re entwined in this—men and women. When a man does his work, when he heals his wounds, when he learns, explores, and grows.
When he understands who he is as a man. When he has no fear of his strength and power. When he is not aggressive and angry. When he knows his heart. When he knows his lingam. When he doesn’t fear women. When he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by a woman’s desire and sexual power. When he opens his heart. When he knows stillness. When he worships the yoni. When he shares his tears and his fears. When he can roar his voice clearly in the world. When he can hold the space for a woman, for her fire. When he’s willing to go into the dark, into the unknown.
When he’s willing to see as the divine that he is. He can see the divine within the power of female sexuality, in all its expression: the gentle, the tender, the fire, the wild, and free. That safety gives a woman the space to live and to love—to pleasure in so many ways.
With freedom, with joy, with the celebration of sacred life.
There’s a transformation in this for all of us: for our families, for what we show our children, and for the world.
Every man and woman can do this for ourselves and for each other. There’s so much more to our sexuality, in so many ways.
It offers us so many gifts, so many possibilities.