July 28, 2021

It’s Okay if you can’t fully Let it Go.


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If you google “let it go” quotes, thousands and thousands of results will come up in a matter of seconds.

From quotes about heartbreak, to controlling situations, to a Disney song, the quotes urge the reader to fully let go of the things that they have no power over. And, while I agree with the notion that letting go can prove beneficial to one’s psyche, I am now convinced we can never fully let go.

Nowadays, there is a lot of pressure to let things go. Let go of our exes. Let go of our worries about material possessions or the pain we carry in our hearts. We need to let go.

We need to let go.

Yet, we are all human and our nature dictates that we don’t let go. When our trust is broken, our self-preservation mechanism needs to register this betrayal in order to protect us from further harm. Any negative interaction, if we want to be honest, is innately recorded to protect us in the future.

As a result, we are often catching ourselves struggling to forget the bitterness of the betrayal or financial worries because if we don’t let go, how can we be happy? How can we move on?

An epiphany came to me as I was struggling to let go of my ex. I had spent the last few days ignoring the pain in my chest. I didn’t want to dwell on memories or my need to be with him. I searched and searched for love quotes that would help me to let him go. They all urged me not to dwell on the pain—that the sting of my broken heart would be healed if I let this relationship go.

I saved and saved quotes. The more I saved, and read, and affirmed—the worse I felt. I couldn’t sleep or soothe the pain in my chest. Until last night, when I allowed myself to grieve once more. I cried for hours until my eyes were puffy and my nose was runny, and I couldn’t cry anymore. And then, I fell asleep.

I woke up, cleansed, but despite my mess, I was okay. It was at that moment I realised it’s okay to not fully let go. There is no shame in dwelling in your pain and self-doubt at times. As long as we rise in the morning and march on.


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