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July 26, 2021

Why we need to Stop calling people “Too Sensitive.”

 

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They call me sensitive and emotional but not in a good way.

In a way that marks it as a flaw rather than a superpower.

And when the words escape their lips, I can’t help but feel just that, flawed.

Each time I hear “too sensitive” or “too emotional,” I fall into the space with the looming shadow that reaffirms that I’m broken for not being a certain way.

Why do people feel so comfortable saying this to me even when I tell them I hate it?

Saying so condescendingly how sensitive I am, I wonder what is so bad about being sensitive or emotional? What is good about that statement when kindness isn’t stacked behind it praising such a trait?

Nothing is wrong with me because emotions and sensitivity don’t come easily to you.

Because I’m sensitive, I have the superpower to be sensitive to others.

Because I’m emotional, I have the superpower to be able to sit with you in your grief.

Because I am sensitive and emotional, I have the superpower of caring a whole hell of a lot.

Because I embrace my feelings, I can embrace both the worst and best moments of my life with ferocity.

I feel everything and I’m happy about that.

I would choose feeling everything over feeling nothing any day.

The point is. Those statements. They aren’t kind. They aren’t encouraging. They aren’t loving.

Your condescending words are supposed to make me feel less than you, intended to strip me down into something small enough to drift through the eye of a needle.

They’re said without kindness, without honoring and respecting this part of me that I know is valuable to a suffering world that struggles to cope with difficulty and challenge. It is stated as if my very nature to feel deeply is an inconvenience to you.

For months, I’ve been on a search, picking through weeds and dirt trying to find the bigger meaning and purpose. What am I even doing here? What impact do I want to make? What legacy do I want to leave behind?

Kindness. Love. Creativity. Inspiration. Friendship. Laughter. These are things I want to be remembered for. These are the traits I choose to nurture and water so they sprout up from the dark earth into beautiful glittering flowers or towering trees.

Kindness and love from myself and from others are what matters to me.

When people treat my biggest superpowers as incredible downfalls, I don’t see the benevolence in that. I don’t see how that’s helpful. I don’t see how that’s loving or kind.

If the words out of your mouth are not kind or are meant to gouge deep wounds, why even say them? What purpose do your judgmental words serve others? What point do you intend to prove? How do those words help people be your very narrow view and version of “better”?

Points as these existing in this lifetime only make me realize one thing.

If it’s not backed by kindness then it has no place in my life. Those who thrive on hate and drip with drama are exhausting. If that’s a life they choose, so be it. Go find your tribe. I choose not to follow you there.

Jobs, relationships, friendships, strangers, social media trolls, uncomfortable situations, or any scenario spitting hate is not welcome here.

I will not apologize for my superpower. But I will always work to improve myself and be a better version than I was yesterday. But no one else dictates that version but me.

So when you feel inclined to tell someone they are too sensitive, ask if your statement is coming from a place of kindness. If it’s not, keep it to yourself.

If you feel inclined to say this, think of the worst thing someone could ever tell you, and then think about how it would make you feel. That’s how it feels when you tell someone they’re too sensitive or emotional.

My last request is to be more intentionally kind and loving. The world is too harsh as it is.

This life is far too fleeting for me to stay in a situation or place where I’m mistreated simply for who I am.

~

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