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July 30, 2021

Three Little Words that Kept me Hanging On—and they weren’t “I Love You.”


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I write this because I’ll be damned if another beautiful, courageous, openhearted woman who loves with the totality of her heart and soul ever falls for this again.

Consider this your reminder.

When they are not sure about you. It’s a no.

When they are confused about you. It’s a no.

When they can look you in the eye while making love to you—then turn around and tell you that they do not know—it’s a no.

I don’t know.

Those three words ring inside of my head like an annoying little alarm clock at 5 a.m. on a peaceful Sunday morning. He said that a lot to me—I don’t know.

He couldn’t tell me about a future together, but he had no trouble admitting to a deep soul connection.

He couldn’t tell me that he would ever be with me in the long run, but for now—I was good enough.

He always knew where his soul stood in relation to other females, and yet, he never seemed to know when it came to me.

And he told me he loved me, like no other.

He told me that what we shared was completely different than anything he has ever known, but that ultimately—he didn’t know.

He didn’t know what our lives would be like in the future, nor could he articulate whether he’d even want to be with me.

He didn’t know if I was “girlfriend material” because of where he was in life.

It has taken me more years than I’d like to confess that this is not at all what any woman deserves.

If this is resonating with you I need you to know that you deserve a big fat f**k yes! 

You deserve a partner who knows they want your soul next to theirs.

You deserve a yes and “I cannot see myself with anyone, but you” kind of love.

I don’t know—is a no. I’m sorry to say that to you, but if they wanted to be with you—if your souls were in true alignment with one another, then they would be with you.

Listen, I know the soul bond is not necessarily easy to break—yet, at the end of the day, you have to be willing to learn that you deserve far greater than I don’t know.

You deserve a wow! “I cannot believe what is standing right in front of me” kind of love.

You deserve the passion, higher consciousness, and an “I see myself in you” kind of love.

You deserve a love that enthusiastically chooses you every, single, day “until forever” kind of love.

You deserve a “hell yes, it’s you” kind of love.

They say that heartbreak can teach us to love more fully, and if you were enthusiastically choosing another only to have your heart broken, let me assure you that all is not lost.

God knows what is in your heart and he knows what you are capable of when it comes to love.

You deserve to be met with equal intensity to the way in which you love.

You deserve to hear I want more—not you are too muchwhen it comes to the way you love.

You deserve depth and someone willing to jump into the deep end with younot someone who feels too afraid to explore and chooses to remain close to the shallow end.

Love, if these words resonate let them only serve to remind you that you hold the keys to your happiness and that when you learn that the I don’t know is the same thing as no—you will save yourself a lot of heartache and struggle in the end.

Those three words might be one of the most damaging things we can say to another person. It often feels like false hope to the one on the receiving end.

Listen, your soul knows. Your soul will always know when someone is the right one for you. There will not be hesitation or consistent inner struggle when it comes to making a choice.

So if they are telling you that they don’t know, understand that their soul is not communicating with them in quite the same way as your own. Try your best to learn what you can from the situation and move on with your life because you deserve more.

And God knows that. God has counted every single tear you have cried over that person and believe me they will meet their lesson when they are ready to handle it.

In the meantime, please don’t question your self-worth. You are a beautiful and courageous soul who deserves all the love you could ever dream of and more.

So keep loving,

Let go of I don’t know energy and allow yourself to own what it is that you have denied yourself of for so long—true, real, deep, and authentic love.

Because my love, you deserve way more than just I don’t know. You deserve beauty, courage, depth, and someone who loves you with the same fervor in which you love.

Yes, you are worth far more than I don’t know.


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Editor: Sukriti Chhopra