August 16, 2021

Yoni & Lingam—Reconnecting to the Power of our Sexuality.

Much of my work is in the world of sexual healing.

At least that’s where many journeys start, then they become more about learning, growing, exploring, and expanding. These journeys also become more about life, all aspects of life.

In this, there’s something I’ve come to see the importance of.

We need to heal in context. In the context of our bodies, our hearts, our minds, our lives.

Sex and our genitals, yoni and lingam, are not separate from the rest of us. Our sexuality happens in our lives. And so much of what happens, what plays out in our sexuality, often doesn’t have a lot to do with sex. That’s just the place where something is expressing itself.

We have disconnected from sex and our genitals, through stress, trauma, judgment, and so on. And a big element of healing work is connecting with and bringing our sexuality into the fullness of who we are.

Our yoni-lingam relationship is in our bodies.

We have one continuous skin that covers all of us, including our genitals.

Our yoni-lingam is in our bodies, in our hearts, in our throats, in our bellies, in our eyes, in our mouths, in our minds, in our chakras, in our meridians, in our passion, in our energy.

And it’s through the connection, in the connection, that so much healing happens.

Connection means that our sexuality, the way we express it, is ours. It’s not someone else’s idea of who we are as sexual beings. It’s not someone else’s idea of how we should express our sexuality.

It’s understanding that our sexuality has a vast range of desires, tastes, flavors, sounds, textures. And all of them are longing to be experienced, seen, savored.

Connection means that energy flows freely in our bodies, from our genitals to our hearts, our throats, our psychic and spiritual centres. That it flows to the earth, to the sky, and from there into us, into our bodies, into our genitals.

Connection means that this skin, this continuous skin that covers us, that forms the boundaries of this home during our lives, is complete. This is in the acknowledgment, the acceptance, the liking, and the loving of all of us.

This skin, the shape it is, whatever that shape is, is not subject to some bizzare created idea of how we should look, smell, taste.

It’s my skin, and there are no gaps in it. There are no parts that are not me. There are no parts that I can’t talk about, touch, look at, love, caress.

A full body massage means a full body massage. It doesn’t mean that it’s a sexual or even genital massage. It does mean that there’s not a gap between my thighs and waist. It’s all me.

Connection means that I look at the story of sex—the beliefs I’ve been given by fear-based institutions and people.

The power of our sexuality is great, for so many things, so much more than “just sex.”

There are elements of freedom, of creativity, of divine connection, and paths to deep states of consciousness.

Maybe sex can be an exchange of energy, a portal to something mystical.

Maybe sex can be a way of healing, building pleasure chemicals in the body to be directed to where they’re most needed.

Maybe sex can be a meditation, an energy into the core of who we are.

Connection means understanding that yoni-lingam and heart are one. So often, they’re speaking different languages; there’s no conversation.



In the connection, we begin to open the flow of energy and the knowing that when I am inside of you, when you welcome me into you, it is the heart that’s the host.

To penetrate a body, to be penetrated, is easy—to penetrate to a heart, to open from the heart, that’s love, love-making, love making us.

Connection means softening, dancing, playing. So many of us experience nothing more than friction sex in bodies requiring greater and greater stimulation.

Connection means slowing down to feel.

There’s presence here. Awareness. Intimacy. Being.

Connection means a journey—an adventure of discovery, of exploration, of curiosity, of fascination, of wonder, and of awe. It’s endless; it’s limitless.

It’s ours, within us, for all of our lives.

It changes as we change.

In the context of our lives.

Connection means care. The way we touch, caress, kiss, lick ourselves, others, the way we are touched. The way we care about who and how we share yoni-lingam with.

Connection means love. For ourselves. Is this experience an expression of love for ourselves? Is it an expression of honoring ourselves?

Connection means the full expression of yoni-lingam. They’re hard; they’re strong; they’re soft; they’re quiet; they’re wild; they’re shy; they’re loud; they’re liquid; they’re fire. We want—they want—so many different moments when we listen with our inner ear.

Yoni-lingam in the fullness of us—us in the fullness of them.

In the fullness of possibility.

In the fullness of our lives, bodies, hearts.




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