September 10, 2021

Bitch-Slapped by Integrity: 5 Lessons I didn’t Learn from my Guru.


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Integrity: doing what I say I will do, following the sensation of my heart, following through no matter what the f*ck stands in my way, doing it all with clear impeccability, and promoting wholeness.

After countless value quizzes, shattering life experiences, and having my heart broken in two, I have learned integrity is not only my number one value but essential for peace and quality of life.

My first real lesson in integrity both blessed me and rocked my world when I was 22.

I had just experienced a life-shattering struggle with my first real love. He was my first of many things, including my first real heartbreak.

While that was the strongest hurt I had felt up to that point in my life, it wasn’t even close to touching the turmoil that would begin a 15-year tailspin into the unknown void of fear, and a brutal lesson in integrity.

Not long after my boyfriend ripped my heart out of my chest and handed it back to me, I met someone who helped me find my heartbeat again. He was unconditionally loving, understanding, kind, and he had a chocolate lab named Scooby who helped me forget all of my cares.

When he told me he wanted me to meet someone he thought could help me, I was all in. I didn’t need an explanation about what we were doing or where we were going. I trusted him.

When we arrived at our mystery destination, we walked into a residential home—people gathered, tea was steaming, and I noticed a man in a bright-colored garment. He was introduced to me by name, and then a woman excitingly affirmed that I “was in for a treat!”

Eventually, we assembled for meditation, chanting, and what I would refer to as an energy circle. It was divine, lovely, and something shifted deep inside me that I couldn’t explain. I felt better, lighter. I wanted to know more and do all the things, so naturally, I booked a one-on-one session with this mystery guru for a Vedic Astrology reading, and it amazed me.

He affirmed so many things and predicted many more. The stars told him I would get my masters degree, work in uniform at sea, be a flight attendant, get married, have two twin girls, unless I got a divorce (which he said was likely), and in that case, have no children of my own but marry someone slightly older than me. The two hours of prophecies had me hooked. All of it was juicy and fed my ego full of curiosity and delight.

He said one thing that caused me to have a bit of an “eek” reaction.

He said, “At 40 years old, you will become very ill, near death, but you will be okay and live well until age 92.”

I laughed it off and thought, “Eh, that doesn’t have to be true, and this is so much information, I’ll probably forget anyway.”

But not only did I fail to forget, his words haunted me. At 28 years old, I realized everything he had predicted, happened. Everything.

In the back of my mind, I could hear his voice telling me I would have a near-death experience at 40. I also heard the lady who told me I was in for a treat, and the man I dated promising this guy would help me.

Every birthday since, my predicted near-death experience at 40 lurked over me like a black cloud invisible to the naked eye. While fearing possible pain and suffering, I found myself questioning how this information helped me.

It didn’t. However, it taught me a valuable lesson in integrity.

This man chose to share information in a way that created separation, fear, and division.

I am grateful it sparked me to create an intuitive business that strives for impeccable integrity. I only aim to instill honesty in any client or practitioner who chooses to work with me, as I would never want to do to another what this man did to me.

Because of the situation, integrity has been a life lesson, turned number one value, and a message I often spread beyond being honest and having strong moral principles. It is about promoting a sense of wholeness and being undivided. When people call out for help, the end goal is to help them, not deliver information to feed our ego if we get a prediction right.

I call in every spiritual counselor, psychic, tarot professional, and intuitive practitioner to take self-inquiry and understand the importance of incorporating the following five points into practice to ensure integrity:

1. Unless we are a doctor and licensed to do so, it is never okay to diagnose.

2. We have a responsibility to promote free will and choice, always.

3. Predicting any event or illness causing separation or fear is not acceptable.

4. We have a responsibility to promote wholeness.

5. If we say that we will do something, we do it with the end goal of helping the individual calling us in.

If we are unclear what integrity is to us, gaining understanding is vital.

I would love to know various perspectives in the comments; what is integrity for you?

For further inspiration, I polled a few loving people in my community and want to share their beautiful definitions of integrity.

“Living, acting, speaking through pure heart and intention, being who we say we are, and upholding these actions, speech, and values, especially when no one is looking.” ~ Carla G.

“Showing up and being true to who you are. Always doing the right thing, even though it may not always be the easiest thing.” ~ Lisa B.

“When working with others: holding their best interests at heart. In everyday life: holding my best interests at heart and recognizing when others aren’t, having the gumption to walk away. ~ Cinda K.

“Integrity=doing what I say I will do, strong moral compass, honesty, ethical and not only with others but in integrity with myself and my values. Doing the “right” thing even when no one is looking.” ~ Donna H.

“Integrity is when our words and actions align with our heart. When behavior reflects our truth and our authentic intention. It’s beyond right and wrong, and is more about alignment with our values.” ~ Elana M.

While I am happy to report, as of July 25th, I am 41 years old, I did a lot of soul and energy work around this awful imprint that caused much chaos and could have caused more. While I realized he was probably “predicting” the pandemic, it’s not excusable.

I hope that sharing my experience will encourage other practitioners to stay in a loving and impeccable place of integrity.


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