October 30, 2021

A Letter to the other Woman: He’s not Going to Leave Her for You.

 

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Your eyes meet across the room with a dizzying effect.

The heat rises from deep within you, flushing your cheeks.

The overwhelming sense of desire is intoxicating. The corners of your mouth turn up, your eyes twinkle, and your heart skips a beat.

He makes his move, his voice is deep and melodious, a smooth operator. The intensity of his stare weakens your knees. He says all the right things. He leans into you at just the right moment and places his hand on the small of your back, an innocent gesture that heightens all of your senses as he seems to hang on your every word.

He is attentive. He knows he has you where he wants you.

His lips unintentionally graze your cheek, and he pulls away, leaving you breathless.

This man has you in his grip. Your resolve is waning. Your passion rising. You want him, in every way.

Your self-control is threatened and your good intentions put at risk. You want nothing but him. You long to be in his arms, to feel his lips press against yours as he caresses every inch of you.

His sensuality. His masculinity. His charms.

His wedding ring.

You listen intently, captivated by every tale he tells. He is misunderstood, confused, and wants to leave her.

He is married. 

He tells you that she is mean and cruel. He tells you that she does nothing but nags and does not appreciate him. He does not feel loved. He does not know what went wrong—when they grew apart.

You make him feel good. He never knew that he could feel this way again. He cannot live without you.

She is evil. You are his queen. You are his way out. You will rescue him.

He tells you that it is you. He loves you. He needs you. You are the only one. It can only be you.

He makes you feel beautiful and powerful. He excites you in countless ways. He makes you feel like you are on top of the world.

He is not yours.

You know it is wrong. You know he does not really belong to you, and you know that it cannot possibly work. You are not sure what to think, what to trust.

Yet you cannot pull yourself away. You cannot end it. You cannot bear to go on without him. He needs you.

You try to leave. He begs of you to stay. You move on. He pulls you back. It is a toxic cycle of emotional pleasure and pain.

My darling girl, you need to stop right there.

He is not going to leave her. She is not mean and cruel. She is innocent and naïve. She does not nag him; she is too busy caring for their home and their children. She loves him, appreciates him, and trusts him—and she has no idea about you.

Yet he is not with her and he is out with you—and you truly believe that he loves you. He needs you.

He crawls into bed beside her when he gets home. She rolls over and lays her head on his chest as his arm wraps around her. They fall into a peaceful, restful, and deep sleep.

Morning comes and tiny feet can be heard running through the house. The smell of breakfast fills the air and everyone is happy because Daddy is home.

He lightly kisses her cheek as she tends to the kids. She gives him a wink as she gently cups his chin in her hand and places another kiss on his lips.

Giggling children. Talk of the day to come. Plans for the weekend ahead. Smiles. Laughter. Conversation.

You text. No answer. You call. No answer. You text. You call. Again, no reply. Again, no answer.

You start to worry that something is wrong—and there most certainly is.

He sees your text and looks away quickly. He hears the phone ring and prays his wife does not see the strange number as he slides the phone into his pocket.

He worries that you will text or call again. You should know better. But you don’t.

Empty promises. Dreams for a future that will never come to be. Sadness and despair consume you.

My darling girl, how long will you allow this to go on? Surely, you must see it. Surely, you must get it. Surely, you are not that—easily fooled.

He calls—the excuses, the stories. He assures you that he will be leaving her soon, but there is always a reason as to why he has to stay awhile longer.

You reject suitors. You cancel plans. You sit and wait. You hope and wonder. You reflect upon everything he has said and done.

My darling girl…

He is not yours. He is a cheater.

He is not in love. He is using you.

You are nothing more than an accomplice in his crime of passion. His lustful desires. His inability to stay faithful. His sex addiction.

He is selfish. He is cruel. He is a liar. He is heartless.

He is wrong to be doing what he is doing.

He may be wrong, but so are you, my beautiful girl. So are you.

There will always be a willing woman for a man to liaise with, but let it not be you.

No matter what the condition of his marital relationship, he is still married and he owes his partner honesty and truth. He made a commitment and should afford them both the time to figure out if it will work, either together or apart, but not with the crutch of an affair.

Not from another woman’s bed. Not with the scent of another on his skin. Not with the taste of another on his tongue.

Not with you.

Step into her shoes. Think of how you would feel if you were his wife.

Then. Walk. Away.

She deserves better—from her husband, and the female sisterhood.

And so do you.

 

 

~

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