I once came across a funny image of a woman canoeing, photoshopped in a Thanksgiving food display of mashed potatoes and gravy.

The sentiment, “This is me, thinking about Thanksgiving” was the caption.

We’re in the sea of overindulgence holidays. We’re polishing off the Halloween candy; now we’re headed into the choppy waters of Thanksgiving. And then there’s more fun: Christmas and Hanukkah, followed by the reinvention promise of the last blow-out binge before New Year’s.

Admit it, these holidays are raging seas for our appetites.

We often struggle to stay afloat.

So, why are we like this? Is it just overeating and binging, in and of itself?

Come on, you know better than that.

Perhaps, it’s more like this…

We often believe the lie of the satisfied appetite.

The fairytale, magical answer. All in a gravy boat.

Being this long in the game with my own disordered eating issues, I’m learning that, when it comes to our tricky human natures, there’s no such thing. When it comes to matter of the appetite, the name of the game is more, more, more! And then some more piled on top of that! There! That’ll fix everything! That’ll make everything all better!

Let’s add more gravy to the gravy boat. And then, let’s deep fry that sucker! I’m sure the porcelain or bone china of this antique heirloom we inherited from Aunt Edna will hold up great in the process.

We consume whatever, however and in whatever amounts we desire.

But it’s all deceptive; the appetite we struggle with seems to act as a spiritual barometer. It registers as our chosen Divine substitute. And, because it is only a substitute, a counterfeit attempt, at best, it never fulfills us. We’re bloated, uncomfortable, wasted, feeling guilty, dissatisfied, and still left wanting more.

So, what’s the answer we choose if we’re not careful? Gimme more, still!

The deep-fried gravy boat? Now add chocolate, cocaine, maxed credit cards, and vodka! Yeah, that’ll help. That’s all that’s needed.

We’re never fulfilled, but our souls (our minds, our wills, and our emotions) are still starving!

“Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.”

Psalms 107:5

Food is, indeed, just one binging avenue. “Overdoing it” shows up in all manner of excess and association, but it’s main wheelhouse is consumption.

We consume, ergo, we are.

Yet, the consuming actually consumes us.

You know that aftermath feeling from a family get together or a holiday party? You know that feeling of trying to summon up the will and courage to clean the trashed house, medicating that industrial size headache (and stomachache) and squinting at the credit card bills?

Well, imagine that’s the reality of our souls when substitute after substitute still fails to create peace, comfort, and relief. And why is it like this? Well, perhaps…

Row, Row, Row Your Disassociating Boat, Distracted Down the Stream…

Let’s be real. It’s November and many of us are already kayaking or white water rafting in our gravy/comfort/binge boats right now. Yes, we are thinking about the binge. Food, alcohol, drugs, buying stuff.

And “this time of year” encourages it at every turn. Too much food, too many store displays, too much everything for our sensory holes to take in. Thanksgiving feasts are the gateway drug, promising a hit of indulgence that will give us our fix, especially if in-laws or blood relatives are the tormenting clown cars at our holiday circuses.

So, we disassociate. We check out. We think about the food, or the wine, or the purchase because we are just trying to survive the moment, calling itself “festive.”

(If this is festive, then, I don’t even want to think what agonizing looks like. To paraphrase the horror movie classic, “Jaws…”

“We’re gonna need a bigger (gravy) boat.”

For all of our planning, shopping, feasting, drinking, attempting to be merry, numb or obliterated, we fail to keep the main thing the main thing: our fulfillment is connected to the spiritual. Period.

“When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you,
and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.”

Proverbs 23:1-3

Proverbs 23:1-3, indeed, may sound extreme and grizzly when we deal with our appetites. It’s by no means, an endorsement to slit our throats. (That’s messy cleanup, for one).

But, more accurately, it follows the modern- day advice you may have heard around the way: “check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

Spirituality, as cliché, difficult, uncomfortable, and not instant gratification-y as we’d all like it to be, is internal. Disassociating about our binges, however, is the external… and fleeting approach.

“ …‘Be still, and know that I am God…’”

Psalm 46:10

Be honest. How many of us who are in recovery from addictions, compulsions, and well, life, truly enjoy being still?

(I hear crickets).

Yet stillness is necessary. Quiet, motionless, deliberate action is needed to make sure our binge-y gravy boat does not capsize… again.

Years ago, I learned about a wonderful meditation technique which incorporated Psalm 46:10. As a mind quieter, go through that whole “ …‘Be- still-and- know- that- I- am- God’” scripture, speaking it, gradually leaving off a word until you are only left with “Be.”

“Be.”

The amount of time it takes to get through this meditation can act as a tool. It can, perhaps, help that daunting craving, compulsion, or binge subside. I use it for stress, for anxiety, for depressed moments. I find it works well for most binge boats. By the time you get to “Be,” I find I stand a better chance of not looking like the Tasmanian Devil on Cocaine-laced Espresso.

Just saying.

So, how are you handling “boating season?” No shame. The boat’ll tip over for sure if we add shame.

But be real, honest, yes, spiritual with yourself. When you think of Thanksgiving (a/k/a, a “license to binge”), how are you kayaking through it?

Whatever appetites we are challenged by, this holiday season and beyond, let’s get real with our spirits and our Creator about them!

Bon voyage!

Copyright © 2021 by Sheryle Cruse