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Shortly after dinner last night, my cell phone rang.
It was my daughter’s best friend.
My daughter was with her grandma last night, so I answered, “Sorry, my daughter is at her grandma’s tonight.”
The response I got was not what I was expecting.
“Can you tell her that I moved schools? I go to another school now.”
“Of course, can my daughter call you tomorrow?” was all I asked.
“Yes, she can,” was the response I got from my daughter’s best friend as she hung up.
My heart hit the floor. Never once did my daughter say anything that her best friend was switching schools. She mentioned the other day that she wasn’t at school for a few days and figured she was on quarantine or sick. Being the type of friend my daughter is, she called her bestie to see how she was doing if she was sick, but got a voice mail message. She just left a message telling her she was thinking of her and carried on.
My daughter would not have called to check to make sure her bestie was feeling better if she knew she was transferring to a different school. I would have had to deal with a brokenhearted, little girl with the thoughts of her bestie not being there for them to chat and giggle at school between classes and lunch.
I felt devastated. My poor daughter. Then my heart when to her poor best friend.
Did she know she was moving schools or was it sudden? Why did she not get the chance to say goodbye to her friends by knowing ahead of time?
I realize the detailed world of adult decisions doesn’t always have the ability to let children help make the decisions nor accommodate children at times. Kids are not meant to deal with adult issues at their young age. Nor should they be involved in the complexities of decisions that adults have to make.
What about their issues as children, though? Did my daughter’s bestie get closure in moving schools from her friends? Maybe it wasn’t an option. Either way, I will never know the answer, and that is just the way it is going to be.
If this isn’t a grand lesson in life.
Things happen all the time, unexpected things that knock us for a loop. Heartbreak happens. Everyone goes through things that they have no control over but just have to adjust to and adapt. It is never easy, and it doesn’t get easier. We have to learn to roll with the punches and carry on.
I, no doubt, will have to inform my daughter on the way home from school tonight that her bestie is no longer going to be able to be seen every day. There is going to be tears. Jenn was one of her only true friends she had in school at this time. Middle school is a rough time for kids anyway, so this isn’t going to help an already rough transitional time in my daughter’s life.
She will be fine, though. As much as this is going to hurt her heart, she will be fine. A little bit of extra loving support, a little extra couple seconds in a hug, and when my daughter asks if I ever went through my best friend leaving, I can get teary eyes with her and tell her about when my best friend left when I was about her age too.
Life happens, whether we fully understand it or not, whether we like it or not—we have to trust that in the end it will be okay.